Call Clooney!

876 Election Special (2016-11-10)

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0:00:00ACC: “Because when kids wake up, yes, *daddy, I don’t understand.” (0:51:27)
0:00:38Everyone in Austin and Berkeley has headed to Canada in face of election results; Rachel Maddow and “the good and great Chris Hayes” discuss futures market trading halt “when crashes happen”, Canadian immigration website crash; NBC on stock market “Brexit-like reaction”, Andrea Mitchell: “he needs to stabilize this economy quickly”, “it’s global markets that are collapsing”, Trump facing “the kind of economic collapse that Barack Obama inherited”; election night DH Unplugged; trading floor “lock her up” and “hurtful” booing
0:11:08Hillary’s Javits Center glass ceiling, Ed Schultz rant over Podesta thankyou & MIA Hillary: “the epitome of arrogance in American politics”, “what a quitter!”; people leaving Javits Center in tears, 2:00 teardown for NAB Show New York
0:17:41“Too close to call” to avoid calling for Trump, MSM ten minutes behind Hillary concession, Frank Luntz: “all exit polling should be banned”; Trump “secret support” in “polite company”, JCD on JMD’s Trump vote lie: “I said I was voting for Jill Stein”; Rachel Maddow: “it’s real”, “hats off to the Russian government, right?”; Putin congratulates “Donalda Trumpa”
0:30:42Trevor Noah: “I’m officially shitting my pants”, blames Electoral College; Colbert nonplussed, Kimmel funny, Fallon “unbelievably professional”; Jon Stewart talking points
0:35:22Jeffrey Toobin predicts “he’s gonna keep those campaign promises, he’s gonna have mass deportations”; Amanpour on jubilant tweets from Geert Wilders & Nigel Farage
0:37:39Van Jones: parents “afraid of breakfast”, “this was a whitelash”; NBC runs with “whitelash”
0:41:14Andrea Mitchell: history “put on hold yet again” for female commander in chief; screeching millennial: “I literally am gonna die, I need an ambulance!”; Lawrence O’Donnell: “America is crying tonight”, ACC: “how ‘bout less than half?”, college dorm in tears; hysterical “help us now!” video; weeping Miley Cyrus selfie video, JCD: “that is pathetic!”; ACC scolds weak-minded parents, “abused! abused! abused!” (ACCPPotD)
0:52:43Andrew Sorkin’s “vile” open letter to family in Vanity Fair: “there’s a party going on at ISIS headquarters”; Attica Locke to NPR: outcome a racist reaction to Abama in “large segment of white folks”, smug laughter at mention of “former racists”; “real Donald Trump” meme
1:03:12The View to Trump: “we’re watching you”; Obama Rose Garden speech: working to “make sure this is a sex… successful transition”; CNBC on futility of media using data to predict or “influence and affect” outcome; podcaster schools Judy Woodruff on newsroom diversity
1:09:35Gonna Read Facebag: “I have begun the purge” of unfriending Trump supporters; “Bernie couldn’t win” meme, sovereignty vs globalism; professors making exams optional, grief counseling; JCD takes a robocall; ACC to CVC: don’t worry about it; brainwashed parent on explaining “sexist, misogynist, racist, Islamophobe”; ACC: insider confirms Maddow is “devastated”; Richard Engel: senior military considering bugging out
1:23:35Euronews on NYC “not my president” protests, callback to 2000 election
1:25:25CBS demographics breakdown; woman on the street “thick skin” vs Pussygate; “no!” to CNN’s “aren’t you excited for the first female president?”
1:28:46Democrats won popular vote meme, JCD on Republicans bailing out of California, Oregon, and Washington; Calexit and Electoral College “trick” meme
1:33:32Trump 10% corporate tax plan, 1% repatriation tax; Dutch anti-TTIP and ‘CETA referenda
1:37:32Producer Segment: Indian 500 & 1000 rupee bills to be phased out
2:12:11Marijuana initiative rundown, JCD on old ladies with aches and pains
2:15:17Unprepared Tim Kaine’s confusing vineyard worker parable; Bill & Hillary’s purple clothing possible gay signal; urges Electoral College to choose Hillary
2:22:02Jean-Claude Juncker agitating for European army; Günther Oettinger apologizes for “slitty-eyed” comment about Chinese diplomats; Russia to Netherlands: “stop following our aircraft carrier with your submarine”
2:25:54Obama in January 2016: Trump state of the union “in a Saturday night skit”
2:26:58Howard Stern’s condescending interview with Megyn Kelly, The View scripted, “where’s China?”; ACC’s hysterical e-mail from Elizabeth Warren, “the NRA is e-mailing me now”; AOL “welcome, you’ve got mail” guy Elwood Edwards driving for Über
2:35:48James Carville on debate over Hillary’s best message strategy, Trump turned Rubio into comedian; Trump may hand new DoJ or IRS head Charles Ortel’s book; Agent Orange requests Killing Ed screener for Michael Flynn; Iraqi forces implicated in anti-ISIL atrocities near Mosul, beheaded corpses in mass grave; Lester Holt’s green screen malfunction; NewsHour botched close: “we’ll tell you about that later because we’ve gotta get off the air!”
2:45:01Donation Segment: ACC still suffering from pulmonary issues
2:56:47Financial Times guy to Charlie Rose on novel Trump-Pence managerial style; Amy Goodman: 2011-2015 “hottest on record, with hundreds of thousands of deaths likely due to global warming from human activity”; ACC: patriots will keep Trump in line; ACC’s emetophobia
3:03:11ABC on three service members killed in Jordan, oil wells set on fire near Mosul, Red Adair IMAX film; JCD recommends Whose Trade Organization author, WTO/NAFTA antisovereignty provisions, 1999 Seattle WTO protests
3:09:33ACC excited about next four years, JCD on John Dickerson as spokeshole