Call Clooney!

847 Clean Food (2016-07-31)

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0:00:00ACC: “Uhhhh? Wuhhhh? No.” (0:38:32)
0:00:34ACC and CVC off in the Airstream of Consciousness near balloon accident scene, JCD story of ballooning in Switzerland; ACC on Cirrus parachute; Austin active shooter
0:07:257k surrounding Incirlik Air Base; CIA warning shot, General David Haight removed over resource misuse and extramarital affair; Gayane Chichakyan pronunciation iso, Twitter response from Matt Lee; “fifty civilian casualties” revisited, State Department admits “calculus”
0:14:38Rep. Emanuel Cleaver at DNC: Hillary “won’t stay throwed”
0:17:1145 civilian casualties in Syria, Chichakyan “great accusatory question” for Kirby revisited, Barbara Starr “fifty civilian casualties”, Kirby the “word to the wise” boss type
0:21:51ACC on rich vs wealthy, Trump the blue-collar builder, Thomas Frank on rich Democrats
0:32:58Chelsea Clinton’s robotic “never ever” DNC speech, JCD: Paxil; superimposed Hillary speeches; “we need Hillary Clinton because she doesn’t sleep”; feigned surprise at balloon drop; Cheney spokeshole “in his kitchen crying” at speech; Don Lemon: “get on board with Hillary Clinton or be quiet”, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: “Don Lemon is an overnight legend”; “Demexit”
0:48:23John Allen in WWE mode threatening those “acting against civilization and the world order”, Hillary campaign’s counter-chant cheat sheets; Joy Reid: “at the end … you bought Hillary Clinton as fundamentally a mom and a grandma”; Chris Matthews vs Chris Hayes
0:58:38Hillary’s proposed constitutional amendment vs Citizens United; Morgan Freeman Hillary bio: Hillary could have become a “corporate bigwig”; linguist George Lakoff analyzes Trump’s name, JCD column: no President Newt; Biden calls Putin a dictator, Josh Earnest (sort of) agrees; Kareem Abdul-Jabbar “I’m Michael Jordan” joke; Letterman Great Moments In Presidential Speeches rip-off of Trump; Holder questions Trump’s “grey matter”
1:13:40Amy Walter on Hillary campaign trying to get Republican vote out; Obama in preacher mode: “anyone who threatens our values, whether fascists or communists or jihadists, or homegrown demagogues”; JCD splices Howard Dean scream onto Jennifer Granholm speech (CotD)
1:23:21Producer Segment
1:31:52Hillary proposes to bring jobs to “Indian country”
1:34:33Stephen Cohen to CNN: “Vladimir Putin wants to end the new Cold War and so do I”, cut off by anchor; Washington Post: Russian hackers may target voting machines
1:47:11The mysterious hole in Hillary’s tongue; Bill asleep during her speech; Bill O’Reilly cuts off sociologist; Bill Maher on Bill Clinton’s infidelity, “Europeans can do that”; Cornel West reminds Maher of Jill Stein’s existence, Maher’s stupid train analogy, West: “she’s a neoliberal”
1:59:47Jill Stein: foreign policy “marketing strategy for selling weapons”
2:01:54DNC “what are you going to do about people who want to be mean” video Trump jab; Bill Clinton: women’s rights as human rights a “radical statement” in 1995; JCD on vitriolic Jefferson-Adams election, Jefferson supposedly introduced mac & cheese and champagne
2:10:48Chris Matthews asserts Republican platform includes conversion therapy; Fresh Air guest describes Roger Ailes’ candidate leg examination; Guilfoyle unfazed by TSA naked scanners
2:17:17Donation Segment: JCD’s Redd Foxx digitization project; “hookers and ham”
2:27:04Khizr Khan’s silent wife; Katy Perry’s microphone issues; tongue-clicking Chelsea Clinton
2:33:12Aufwachen! podcast de-douching; Merkel muss weg protests, CNN: “no political motivation” in Munich mall shooting; weapons stolen from US military base in Stuttgart
2:40:31Four zika cases in Miami-Dade County; Stockton mayor’s stolen gun; Panera “clean food”