Call Clooney!

829 quote un-quote (2016-05-29)

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0:00:00ACC: (panting) “Apple!” (2:39:53)
0:00:34Continuing rain and thunder in Texas, heavy hail blankets
0:02:39Putin meets Tsipras in Athens; NATO Operation Anakonda; Minsk Protocol and Crimea
0:09:05Agence France-Presse pictures of US boots on the ground wearing Kurdish YPG insignia, “quote un-quote”, Pentagon spokeshole: special forces “blend in with the community”, ACC: “that huge gun he’s carrying really blends in with the community”; RT No Agenda package: YPJ insignia “an all-female unit of Kurdish fighters”, JCD: “what’ve we got for badges, man, all we got is this box!”, Kirby boots on the ground callback, “Turkey is hacked off”, patches now removed, Turkish minister: “they should also wear Daesh, al-Nusra, and al-Qaeda insignia”
0:27:08Trump to Kimmel: I’ll debate Bernie for charity; celebrity lawsuits and charities; Katy Tur lies “the presumptive GOP nominee first suggested the debate on Jimmy Kimmel”; riot police at California Trump rally; Euronews: “Trump could be a wrecking ball”
0:41:21Trained hypnotist Scott Adams to Bill Maher: Trump’s “persuasion perfection”, crooked Hillary meme “the best persuasion you’ll ever see”; Melissa Harris-Perry: no political correctness on campus, “we don’t have good language for talking to each other across difference”
0:50:07UFCW announces Hillary as “Secretary of Treasure”; Gayle King “sick and tired” of e-mail; Hillary on fighting back, Obama in Japan: leaders “rattled”; “Deputary of State” to insane Barbara Boxer: Trump has not “gravely affected our ability to do business together”
1:01:24Trump and JCD on California water problems, environmental “rewards and awards”
1:06:30Cleveland police chief on equipment for Republican convention: “we’re not allowed to call it riot gear any more”; Chris Hayes on “Effer in the P” incident: “grow the Hell up”
1:10:44Former Ms. AR on Bill Clinton’s coke habit; two vegans dead on Everest
1:14:26Producer Segment
1:26:36Hillary Rodham Clinton: Some Girls are Born to Lead; hoarse Hillary: Trump “urgent threat”
1:28:54“Drip drip drip” meme montage from Seth Myers; SNL “tonight at 11” montage
1:31:48Charles Ortel on Clinton Foundation charity fraud, inconsistent “professional audits”; Horowitz pharmaceutical charity scam; Unitaid’s $2bn contributions, charity fraud solicitation law
1:43:07Grassroots Texas kids supposedly raising money for MSF, “progressive issues”; illegal alien explains IRS ITIN from overstayed tourist visa, citizenship fee increases; ACC’s bugle clips
1:51:58Whoopi Wisdom: “if the higher-ups knew, why would they let it continue?”, Feinstein: “Hillary Clinton broke no law, I read all 42 pages”; National Enquirer on lesbian e-mail
1:58:06Calais violence between Afghans and Sudanese; Brolf on “ominous” news of ISIS lurking among Libyans; producer Brexit jitters; Dutch 13th month; oil stocks mobilized in France
2:09:12NOAA “warmest month on record”, JCD: “warmest minute”, AMO Atlantic Multidecadal Oscillation, “near-normal” outlook with 4-8 hurricanes; 1970s Exxon climate change research
2:16:10NYC human rights commission pamphlet defining gender identity and expression; Facebag TW/CW group; “fem person of transgender experience”, JCD: “well, that’s a crock of shit!”
2:27:40Donation Segment
2:32:38Tech News: phone cancer in rats, Jane Pauley: Bluetooth “sits right next to your head”; Siri SDK rumor, The North Face President chats with Watson, ACC: “there is no AI, only the API”; colistin-resistant E. coli in Pennsylvania; Twitter ill-advisedly moving from 140 characters; overhyped VR; producer AS/400 & COBOL feedback
2:59:17Clip Wheel: risk of anthropogenic earthquakes in Central US