Call Clooney!

673 Imperial News (2014-11-27)

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0:00:00JCD: “Apparently I’m an idiot.”
0:00:34JCD live, 2100 miles from Ferguson; ACC, JCD, & Aric the Shill all on the road
0:02:06JCD’s slightly abbreviated Thanksgiving deconstruction; Obama “Mac and Cheese” pardon, “food and clothes to wear”, Presidential Proclamation: “a group of pilgrims left their homeland”, slick “native tribe who extended a hand to a new people” immigration reference, JCD: “he’s avoiding the fact the Mexicans are here to kill us!”, “country of immigrants” meme; epic Obama stammering at coordinated hecklers, back to prompter for “I just took an action to change the law, that’s point number one”, “it doesn’t make much sense to yell at me right now”; on stay-at-home parents: “that’s not a choice we want Americans to make”
0:25:44Obama “as many of you know, a verdict came down” Ferguson flub; Tapper, Pooper, Williams, Lemon on scene; Lemon “fuck CNN!”, stoned or not stoned, “obviously there’s the smell of marijuana in the air as well”; Dutch coverage: “Americans = racist bastards”; Tamir Rice shooting; Giuliani on “training the community”; St. Louis investigation takeover; 100 SWAT raids daily, Rise of the Warrior Cop; Farrow: “incendiary announcement” vs “burn this bitch down”; Mychal Smith: “the foundation of this country is racism and white supremacy”
0:51:53Ms. Micky in L.A. asks JCD about best wine with turkey: recent beaujolais
0:53:52Producer Segment: JCD recommends Birdman; amateur radio “clear on your final”
1:22:20Brian Williams Ferguson intro: “there are still shell casings here underfoot”; Zwarte Piet anger; cops shooting dogs meme; NBC “Imperial News” music; Ferguson = Baghdad; Federal civil rights case or civil lawsuit; Sharpton: “Michael Brown will not be remembered for the ashes from buildings burned in Ferguson”; grand jury as prosecutorial “punting”
1:39:22DoD “unlawful enemy combatants” now “unprivileged enemy belligerents”, “retained personnel”, “civilian internee”, ACC: “FEMA camps, bring it on!”; Hagel resignation, conflict with Susan Rice, Uncle Don on NYT article: “I had sensed all the things that it alluded to during Hagel’s tenure: too bad”; “twerp” not a reflection on stature; Michèle Flournoy opts out
1:53:51Theresa May on proposed Gitmo Nation East antiterrorism legislation: “we must have the powers we need to defend ourselves”
1:58:28Catch the gaffe: AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd “the six-year old”
1:59:30Juncker’s €315bn road-building plan, investment “third lung”; Haiku Herman’s farewell tour, bronze bust; High Dutch speaking elites in the Netherlands
2:09:21Donation Segment
2:29:24The new diagnosis du jour: sluggish cognitive tempo
2:32:46JCD The Wolf of Wall Street, Birdman plug; Tuesday toilet clog; Ms. Micky a Katherine Heigl lookalike, State of Affairs: Russia will “shop the rest of that intel to Iran, to North Korea”; Pyongyang anti-US demonstration, UN human rights report: abuse “exceeds all others in duration, intensity, and horror”
2:38:45New mission in Afghanistan: fighting the Taliban; “white heroin” warnings in Amsterdam
2:40:54“Discussions about topics that get a little heated at the dinner table” good for kids, JCD: “no, it’s about, who was that slut you were with last night?”; gay Canadian television
2:44:29Cowardly Lion, Casablanca piano auction; New Jersey bill: lying = rape (CotD)
2:52:09Gates, Buffet benefit from rail oil transport, John Fletcher “Buffet!”
2:54:36Hot Russian spy Anna Chapman on maneuvers with Russian tank unit
2:56:48New York Times net neutrality video: “all packages must be delivered at the same rate”