Call Clooney!

574 Make Happy (2013-12-15)

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0:00:00ACC: “Do you have everything, do you have a spreadsheet? You have your lunch money?”
JCD: “I got no lunch money.”
ACC: “Did someone steal your lunch money?”
JCD: “No I didn’t get any, I forgot, I left it at home.”
ACC: “Well it’s not working too well is it?”
JCD: “Alright hit it.”
0:01:44JCD’s Leo hand-me-down battery-hog HTC-1; “FBI Surveillance Van” wireless network
0:04:02Six-Week Cycle: Wichita bomb plot by Terry Lee Loewen, “the bomb was a dud”, “Hell-bent on murder”, “without lawful authority”, “home-grown terrorism”
0:21:27Arapahoe shooting; Littleton CO active shooter drill; “we did not hear another gunshot”; Sheriff announced retirement day before; Denver Post removes the word “socialist”; active shooter drills the new duck and cover; Obama: “heal troubled minds”; Dr. Drew with Brolf: “intervening when symptoms arise”; JCD: “it’s not the kind of marijuana we smoked, Bill, when I was a kid”; ATF botched Milwaukee operations; “did he have a car?” question to bonehead Sheriff; next 6-week cycle January 23-28
0:51:34Need to rename Black Friday due to racial overtones; Amazon & Arsenio ban “slave”
0:59:38“Furries for No Agenda”, JCD on furries at Buzzkill Jr.’s graduation
1:01:50Producer Segment: dinner with the Republi-bots: “how ‘bout the big man?”
1:13:07Peculiar Leahy comment: “you were either alive and walking or you were dead, there’s nothing in between”; Père Curry’s Austin-Healy
1:16:3860 Minutes NSA story, Rick Ledgett on Snowden task force; 1.5 million documents; deal? Ledgett yes Kaiser no; Ask Adam: “Bethesda Maryland, why are you wearing camo?”; Franken-ramble, “out of the capacities of big data”; JCD’s SIM-less phone still getting weather’s “hour of code”, ACC: “when you get voted off this island you go down the conveyor belt into the fast food business”; Zuckerberg’s scientists as rock stars event, Yuri Milner, ACC: “before you know it there’s a picture of him being boned by a tranny snorting coke”
1:49:15Donation Segment: title transfer to firstborn girl question for Peerage Committee
2:02:23Marie Harf on IMF loan; Ukrainian Russia hatred, drive-by kicks, ACC: “take your Polish bacon and your fags and get out of here!”; Trans-Eurasian rail theory, China-Vienna talks, Paris-Barcelona link
2:12:17Fracas in the pressroom over Air Force One photography; noisy cameras
2:17:16“The rabbit has landed”
2:21:03Kim Jong Un executes his uncle: ACC & JCD: “stunned!”
2:23:36Drone strike on a Yemeni wedding party
2:23:58Stanley Fischer to replace Janet Yellen; Microsoft Dynamics advertisements: “Make Happy”; JCD: “honey, I’m going to see my relationship banker!”
2:28:35Twitter’s temporary blocking change: ACC: “you can’t be blocking advertisers”
2:29:35Jen Psaki: John Kerry “on travel”
2:33:31Sexual harassment downgraded to misconduct for Colorado six-year-old; New York City requiring prescooler flu shots; JCD on China modernization and flu origin; H7N9 in Hong Kong
2:39:29Nancy Pelosi: $1.50 for every $1.00 spent on unemployment, Republicans hate women; Hobby Lobby controversy on morning after pill
2:46:36Hollywood Whackers: Ronni Chasen autopsy results; Russian cuisine