Call Clooney!

568 Heteroflexible Previvor (2013-11-24)

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0:00:00ACC to Mussorgsky accompaniment: “Ahh, it was a dark, dark November day....
0:01:30ACC brings “the Nordic outbreak!” back to Texas, Willie Nelson’s tour bus crashes
0:03:50JFK Month of Remembrance, National Family Week, National Child Day
0:05:15“Transgender flag” painted on house across street from Westboro Baptist Church, JCD: “we have to have a flag!”; new term “heteroflexible” unearthed in Wikipedia “bi-curious” article
0:09:37Center for Restorative Breast Surgery rolls out full-page “breast center previvor” ad
0:17:42JCD’s experiences with TSA Pre✓ in Orlando, JCD & ACC: “leave your shoes on!”; ACC informed “dildos turn up orange” by KLM, heart attack false alarm in the middle of flight
0:25:28Deranged Spirit Airlines passenger precipitates bomb scare, bogus “sweep of the airplane”; North Carolina teddy bear “bomb”; LAX prank call results in TSA herding passengers into bathrooms yelling “¡ándale ándale!”; producer note on school lockdown drill notification
0:34:42Producer Segment: “S.S. Shitcutter” in JCD’s Texas accent; origin of cricket “hat trick”
0:43:51Correction on the etymology of strijkstok blijven hangen, JCD’s wine thief needle
0:45:22ACC’s plea for e-mail sanity; “read more here” game of telephone and “hat tip” plagiarism
0:50:16The odious habit of automatically dismissing dialog boxes without reading them (ACCPPotD); ACC proclaims “BitTorrent Sync is the future”, experiments with emacs “org mode”
0:55:30Climategate: Amy Goodman in Warsaw for COP 13 promoting “cough for coal”, Philippines recovering from “strongest typhoon to hit landfall in history” lie; well-trained angry young people bitching to empty auditorium; South African contingent breaking ranks with Al Gore for “climate justice”, ACC: “another great chant!”, “climate debt” also a winner
1:03:55Free Speech TV Peacemakers and Peace Begins With You with Prem Rawat
1:04:48DJ wannabe Amy Goodman back-announces Frédéric Chopin amid COP 13 walkout, ACC proposes climate change flag; Sir Gene’s Netatmo 493 ppm of CO2; 90 companies produce 2/3 of emissions meme, Jesse Jackson’s shakedown style; Netherlands to spend €70bn on windmills
1:13:16No Agenda Swine Flu Minute: FDA approves adjuvanted GlaxoSmithKline Pandemrix; experimental meningitis vaccine for Princeton; CDC Predict the Influenza Season Challenge
1:21:31Bitcoin Foundation shills crawling out of the woodwork, Patrick Merck to RT: $900 “a bargain”, JCD: “pump and dump!”, four-year fractal based on Beanie Babies; RT claims FEC has approved Bitcoin campaign donations; JCD Red Book: Bitcoin logo on the cover of Time; dark web “assassination market” working toward crowdsourced death of Ben Bernanke
1:45:59Donation Segment: “there’s overmodulation and then there’s just mike in your butthole”
1:59:38Common Core: Promoting Grit, Tenacity, and Perseverance and Obama “grit and determination” compilation; Data-Driven Instruction video full of car analogies, “hot spots” like “little Johnny may not be doing so well in math”; Bill Gates the lousy student, Raikes and now-defunct Stupski Foundations; FreedomProject Education exposes “affective sensors” including “posture analysis seat” for detecting resentment toward pro-LGBT educational agenda (CotD); “estimative math”, #CommonCore examples such as “the commands of government officials must be obeyed by all”, My Big Campus “if you have drank beer or alcohol before”; Illinois 4th graders reading “when Barry looked in the mirror” Obama bio
2:28:21NCIS music bed covering up “crap acting”; Law & Order street ambience loop
2:34:33Producer note on healthcare.gov self-DDoS and “they don’t have backups” revelation
2:37:14Clip Blitz: High School USA! hands out guns to faculty and students; former Rep. Patrick Kennedy “rails” against marijuana legalization; ADHD on the rise; nuts are the new kale