0:00:00 | JCD: “Who doesn’t like to pee in the sink?” (1:38:04) |
0:00:33 | ACC’s €1,148 worth of “groovy gear” in Amsterdam, vision of one-box “definitive podcast rig”; commercial collection agencies helping Dutch government with back taxes, “halal housing” for locking up the womenfolk in Muslim households, JCD: “surprised they don’t build mud huts!” |
0:13:06 | Michael Moore lies about “universal free health care throughout all of Europe” while bitching about new Michigan right-to-work law; ACC’s SAG membership thanks to Swamp Thing, JCD on failure of unions to adapt to non-assembly line jobs, Buzzkill Jr.’s Noodle Boy attitude toward indiscriminate firing, JCD: hey look at this, I’m peeing on the product as it goes through!“, ”where’s the spreadsheet, he’s chattin’ in the back channel!“; Obama announces Daimler’s $120M investment in subsidiary Detroit Diesel and the creation of a whopping 115 ”good new union“ jobs; GE CEO Jeffrey Immelt to Charlie Rose on China: ”state-run communism may not be your cup of tea, but their government works“, JCD: ”what??“ |
0:26:37 | 12-12-12: The Concert for Sandy Relief all but ignored by the media, Paul McCartney lies “Robin Hood are taking it right to the people!”, $164M 2011 Form 990 materializes, $7.2M in “other” salaries, $15.8M entertainment budget; forwarded e-mail from producer for discredited Artists United for Haiti; clueless Brian Williams introduces “Uncle Keith Moon” and Bill Clinton lookalike “Uncle Roger Daltry”, ACC: “Keith Moon has been dead for 25 years!”, tearful “we rebuild” montage, irony of Pink Floyd performing in front of giant Chase logo |
0:44:43 | Producer Segment 1: pictures “Scotch taped to the wall” at Stedelijk Museum |
0:59:29 | Late-night Senate rant about grass fires interrupted by Harry Reid to ram through NDAA (CotD); Nancy Pelosi bitches about “subterfuge and this, that, and the other thing” in debate over holiday-season tax cuts for middle class who “want to shop for it” |
1:12:21 | Pedobear messages in PBS children’s show Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood: “I’m going to bring my tiger-tastic camera to take some tiger-tastic pictures of all of you!”; “Marxist culturalism” in draft US Army manual admonishing against taboo of denouncing pedophilia in Afghanistan; parents rush to defend Olympia children’s theater employee from child pornography charges |
1:19:49 | Producer Segment 2: fucking cancer! karma jingle; Google+ insults for ACC |
1:42:58 | Syrian Opposition Council recognized as official mouthpiece of the citizenry, searches for Moaz al-Khatib freezing ACC’s browser, spokeshole Yaser Tabbara from Chicago, “DIY tank” with game controller; Hillary Clinton’s “stomach bug” and plot to kill and mutilate Justin Bieber |
1:56:44 | And Now Back to Real News: Morrissey gripes about British Royal Family and Saldanha suicide; tearful self-recrimination from Australian DJ prankster, embarrassed private hospital assures media Saldanha was not reprimanded, ACC: “very typical hit job” à la Diana |
2:03:05 | Donation Segment: ACC’s Target Geek Squad ad read, “people are running to the store now” |
2:33:13 | JCD predicts distraction of Nelson Mandela’s recent or upcoming death |
2:38:50 | Second Half of Show: Dmitry Medvedev tells journalists there are extraterrestrials among us |
2:42:19 | HSBC gets a slap on the wrist for laundering billions in Mexican cartel money; eating disorders as red flag for teen marijuana use; “great question” for former FCC chair Michael Powell |
2:49:28 | Non-drunk Diane Sawyer introduces segment on wrong-way accidents as interlock promo |
2:52:29 | Mariott executive tells CNBC “you don’t want to train customers” to bargain-hunt |
2:55:30 | Masked Portland three-name mall shooter Jacob Tyler Roberts preceded by training exercise, forthcoming Friday the 13th box set, witness comments to Anderson Pooper about “multiple agencies” and “triage tents”, smiling sheriff assures “the shooter has been neutralized” |
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