0:00:00 | ACC: “You do not punch a puppy when you’re smokin’ weed!” (2:25:56) |
0:00:32 | ACC’s “stinkeye” infected eye after Democrat-infested ReSurge International benefit in San Francisco; JCD irked at lack of real sommelier at Parallel 37 dinner with ACC and Ms. Micky |
0:18:31 | Producer Segment |
0:24:14 | Chatroom confused by “Fossil Fuel Appreciation Day” Daylight Saving Time with 1-2% increase in energy consumption, JCD’s 1930s clips of Hollywood celebrities bitching about DST |
0:26:35 | “Taylor Swift’s Five Smartest Money Moves” press release |
0:31:33 | Lines for food & water and the new iPad after Hurricane Sandy; 50 dead and crops destroyed in Haiti, $4 for a cup of rice in Port-au-Prince, 300 suspected cases of cholera; “lying sack” Hillary Clinton a week before Sandy gloating about “vibrant private sector” at opening of $300M Korean sweatshop; drunk Bill Clinton: development “a rebuke to those who say that progress is not possible, or that government is always the problem, or something else”, JCD: “this Haitian rum is good!”, Micky Martelli leaning as far away from Clintons as possible |
0:39:04 | “Jersey strong” at useless NBC benefit with Jon Stewart; Staten Island Borough President James Molinaro: Red Cross “nowhere to be found”; Anderson Pooper lying about his strong family ties to the forgotten borough; lines for free gas from the National Guard, ACC’s friend Jack Ponti observing guardsmen armed with M-16s; Obama pushes 1-800-621-FEMA and disasterassistance.gov, Red Cross “best and fastest way”, ABC News pushing completely unnecessary blood drive, Obama misses an opportunity by blaming “nature’s destructive power”, apocryphal “I’m Dan” rescue swimmer story; license plate gasoline rationing a fractal of the 1970s; bogus story from NBC News with families “dumpster diving” at Key Foods |
0:55:47 | Producer note on Lucifer Clinton’s visit to Croatia the day before announcement of South Stream pipeline agreement between Russia and Hungary, JCD’s parallel with the 1860s telegraph wars; Gazprom to launch two satellites; JCD on Croatian hatred for Putin; Madeline Albright heckled by “disgusting Serbs” at Prague book signing (CotD) |
1:05:41 | Vladimir Putin’s back problems and vacant expression attributed to crane flight incident, perpetual invisibility of his wife; carefully-orchestrated fishing trip with Medvedev; post-Vladivostok assassination attempt theory, ACC Red Book: “real manly man thing” up next |
1:15:36 | Afghan farmers returning to opium poppies after saffron price crash, JCD irked at his overpriced fake Iranian saffron; Tony the Terrorist confirms Benghazi kidnapping theory, Yemen dronings over trade in Schedule I “scat” qat “poor man’s cocaine”, ACC: “lemme see if we’ve ever had a qat bust here”, JCD’s Chinese grocery store “whaddya use this for?” |
1:36:06 | Donation Segment: Gardasil scam refresher; double voting via absentee ballots |
1:57:19 | Sell-ah-bretty Moonshine jingle by Sir Geoff Smith; “what’s John eating” trial run |
2:02:22 | New commemorative British £2 coin with Charles Dickens or Osama bin Laden |
2:04:40 | Peculiar New York Times headline “with time as tight as race”; Bill O’Reilly and Dennis Miller discuss Obama’s “grievance” against whites; Bill Maher threatens Romney voters with “black people know who you are”; Obama’s “he needs a champion” meme in Iowa, Sugarland’s Everyday America “everybody’s just getting by”, misheard “a little town and a great big lie” |
2:14:00 | Ralph Nader decries corporate welfare and crony capitalism; fascist Executive Order 13629 Establishing the White House Homeland Security Partnership Council; Gary Johnson predicts marijuana legalization in Colorado to Book TV; intoxicated Washington man arrested for punching the family puppy; more Nader & Johnson for end of show; ACC’s Dogcow favicon |
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