Call Clooney!

432 Felonious Bears (2012-08-05)

Show 432 album art
0:00:00JCD: (Falsetto)Doctor Cindy, come here! My knee hurts!” (2:29:57)
0:00:34Hot Pockets 2009 Tour: ACC near Denver, Mustang Sally’s new muffler, fun with Obama’s unscripted “you didn’t build that”; Geoff Smith The Best Podcast in the Universe jingle; custom Jeppesen approach plate for KGMO Gitmo Nation International Airport
0:20:46Producer Segment
0:26:56Chick-fil-A LGBT publicity stunt; strategies for keeping others at bay on an airplane
0:32:13Idiotic ABC News report on foiled al-Qaeda attack in Spain using “those innocent-looking pleasure craft” paragliders, “perhaps detonate as he flew into a crowd, as he flew into a stadium”, list of never-used “bomb delivery systems”; CNN reveals no actual explosives were found by lying dogs, Turkish husband asking wife to clean the apartment taken as secret code
0:42:4930% decline in tourist attraction attendance due to London Olympics fearmongering; Obama: Olympics reminds us that “we’re Americans first”, Michelle in UK thanking service members; ACC enthuses about Dutch women’s field hockey team; Palestinian swimmer Sabine Hazboun gripes about training in 18-meter pool; “Wi-Fi police” shutting down unauthorized hotspots
0:53:31Kofi Annan resigns as peace envoy to Syria, unnamed “Syria expert”: “this could take a very long time”; Ban Ki-moon exhorts General Assembly to vote on empty resolution; douchebag John McCain pushing version of cybersecurity bill with military running the show; Charlie Rose using loaded term “new atrocities”; ACC calls out hacker conference “weenie boys”
1:08:06Work on Iraq pipeline endangering ancient of city of Babylon, JCD: “hey, bring in the backhoe!
1:10:13Crucial work by new Greek Culture Minister Costas Tzavaras to bring in Formula One racing; new bronze of portraying Nicolas Sarkozy’s wife Carla Bruni as a factory worker; new “capital punishment for capital crimes” meme, Pat Robertson delighted with Iceland indicting bankers
1:17:31ACC unimpressed by clip of ecstatic train “foamer”: “oh my God, whooo, listen to that horn!
1:21:14Uzbek “militant leader” droned; CBS twists meeting between David Petraeus and head of Pakistani ISI from drone negotiations into story about Haqqani network “safe havens”, “they may look like Rambo wannabes”, bombing followed by “suicide squad” in a VW bus; ABC goes after Mitt Romney with story about “felonious relationships” involved in Mormon polygamy
1:35:25Donation Segment: producer predicts end of the world on JCD’s anniversary August 8
1:53:19Curiosity Rover out to prove “Earth isn’t as special”, slick NASA “seven minutes of terror” video; sketchy heart attack death of Project Blue Beam conspiracy theorist Serge Monast
2:01:41Ruckus over “cast member” Madhura Nagendra gatecrashing Olympic opening ceremony, JCD on Disney “cast member” scam; Buzzkill Jr. theory: Mars Rover set to fail to defund NASA
2:07:18Mission accomplished: Sharia law now dominant in Libya, ACC: “good job, everybody!”
2:09:04Jared Lee Loughner “wants to plead guilty”; Aurora scopolamine theory and shrapnel injuries
2:12:29Two generals fired in response to aerial bombardment of Belarus with 800 teddy bears
2:14:22Anderson Pooper on precrime warning about James Holmes to BETA Behavioral Evaluation and Threat Assessment team; “I don’t know my lines!” iso; Holmes’ psychiatrist Lynne Fenton and FERPA Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act from August 2011; Mars Rover images
2:23:32Rep. Frank Wolf accuses FBI of withholding its warrant for Anwar al-“Awlakwi” article: fluoride-free bottled water is harming children
2:29:07Hillary Clinton celebrating nonexistent Sudan agreement; meme of $17T elite tax havens
2:31:31Aric the Shill’s Agenda 21 water well meter; USDA all-in on Monsanto drought-tolerant corn; CBS News on dumb fish suffocating in warmer water due to global warming