Call Clooney!

391 Simulation Investment (2012-03-15)

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0:00:00JCD: “Don’t make this stuff too hot or it will melt the bag!” (1:52:59)
0:00:32Mayan Apocalypse challenge coin proceeds not enough to coax ACC’s Dave Matthews story
0:02:06Kandahar massacre by US soldier prompts warning about HVEs homegrown violent extremists; Harry Reid to Candy Crowley on Holder’s “judicial process”: “if anyone in the world deserved to be killed, those three did”, ACC: “she’s a big target, she knows that!”
0:11:01Hillary offers condolences to Afghanistan and promises to bring “those responsible” to justice, Manchurian Candidate theories; Obama lauds David Cameron for “global partnership to strengthen the open government”, arms trade arrangements; NATO document from Research Task Group 120 on “co-operability” for global army
0:22:27Producer Segment:
0:34:47Obama-Cameron op-ed promises to “continue to tighten the noose” on Assad; State Department’s Victoria Nuland befuddled by questions about Libya arming Syrian rebels: “there was no indication … that the Syrian government is arming the Syrian rebels”, AP’s Matt Lee grills Nuland about US offers of “tech support” as part of MEPI Middle East Partnership Initiative program in Iran and “other parts of the world”; “Syrian Danny” now on US speaking tour
0:49:38New York Times op-ed goes after Goldman Sachs, satirical @GSElevator tweets
0:51:31Nancy Pelosi’s daughter films “racist toothless guys” in Mississippi for douchebag Bill Maher
0:53:56Obama taking on China over rare earth minerals in spite of 2009 WTO document announcing intent to reduce exports; Angelina Jolie struggles to explain ICC trial of Congolese warlord Thomas Lubanga then miraculously recovers to deliver “save the children” message to Dutch press; NPR on new radio and TV office in Brazzaville built by China; Chinese killed in huge explosion there; “George Cloney” and John Prendergast in Nuba Mountains next to unexploded bomb, “oldest society on earth” according to Bible; Chinese pipelines and “terrorists” in 2005; Clooney asserts war crimes to Chris Matthews because “it’s good farming” in the Sudanese desert, lame “rebel infighting” excuse; economic hit man predicts trouble in Malawi where Madonna “stole a baby”; Global Philanthropy Group’s Trevor Neilson in cahoots with Hollywood elite, work for Bill Gates and Hillary Clinton, Wikimedia Foundation and CFR
1:21:06Fox News discovers Leviathan field; US drone kills five in South Waziristan; Keystone XL pipeline being bypassed in favor of China as customer; former ambassador Michael McFaul all-in repealing Jackson-Vanik amendment curtailing trade with Russia; JCD “proxy for the Russians” theory, ACC Red Book: deal with Russia for rare earth materials for “iPadski”
1:48:42Donation Segment: ACC’s “Doritos pouch” chili and new corporate video gig with Mattel
2:16:02Jay Carney, annoying Heather Zichal, and Ken Salazar on increased US oil and gas production, JCD Red Book: most expensive election with lowest turnout; Marines in Afghanistan disarmed for address full of lies about 9/11 by douchebag Leon Panetta, tensions over “Koran burning” tender for PSYOP campaign based on DARPA More Eyes SMS spying program, Regina Dugan leaving DARPA for Google; ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul channels Bill Gates describing his activities on Twitter
2:36:52Bill Clinton bringing solar companies into Haiti; NPR on experimental cholera vaccine rollout delayed by “glitch”, host shocked that some would prioritize “clean water and sanitation”
2:40:07Haiku Herman blames crisis on “insufficiently supervised” banks, recovery dependent on “simulating investment”; UKIP MEP addresses British opt-out from proposed inheritance tax
2:48:55Producer note on Seattle hospital mass casualty drill with burns and gunshot wounds