0:00:00 | ACC: (Maniacal laughter) JCD: “Jeez.” (2:22:20 ) |
0:00:35 | Molly Wood staying at ACC’s place, San Francisco douchebags arriving for SxSW |
0:04:03 | Producers detecting aroma of bullcrap around “Phony Kony” 2012 viral video, Show 348 coverage of 100 US troops sent to Uganda revisited, major oil discovery, video voiceover: “that’s where the American advisors come in”; Bill Clinton’s buddy President Museveni’s penchant for throwing rebels in concentration camps; George Clooney: “I’d like indicted war criminals to enjoy the same level of celebrity as me”, child-abusing filmmaker Jason Russell, Invisible Children money from Humanity United Foundation and Oprah, film company run by Kristen Bell’s boyfriend Jedidiah Jenkins; kony2012.com “Policymakers” section |
0:23:19 | George Stephanopoulos’ bizarre question about contraception for Mitt Romney and Rush Limbaugh’s Sandra Fluke “slut” distraction; porn industry considering relocating from California to Arizona to avoid condom regulation, porn star Amy Brooke: “a construction worker has to wear a hard hat, okay, but this building he’s building is still gonna look the same when it’s done, okay?”; Obama’s $35k fundraising dinner hosted by Pfizer lobbyist Sally Susman |
0:34:03 | Producer Segment: ACC eyeing property in Round Rock; iDrone app fake ad |
0:48:08 | Eric Holder speaks at Northwestern University about droning Americans “under international law”, due process vs “judicial process” gimmick; Dempsey and Panetta compare Syria and Libya to skeptical Sen. Jeff Sessions, madman McCain calls for air strikes, Panetta: “we would come to the Congress and inform you” after securing “international permission” |
1:06:04 | “Danny from Syria” busted staging videos for CNN, in studio with Anderson Pooper: “this is all private!”; Chinese drop $17bn worth of projects and bugger off; Dempsey and Panetta unable to confirm deals with Rosoboronexport for Syrian combat jets and Mi-17 helicopters for Afghanistan; JCD story: flying on Aeroflot Ilyushin plane with tube radio and hot Russian flight attendants and recycled plastic cups; Law of the Sea Treaty and squabbling over Leviathan field, Noble Energy lobbyist Bill Clinton; Take a Look at the Map jingle |
1:27:08 | “Horrible mom” Michelle Obama to Jay Leno: Sasha and Malia having a “normal life” at White House with one hour of screen time, ACC: “hey dad, how come you’re an A-hole?” |
1:30:50 | Open letter to Obama from former intelligence officers against war with Iran |
1:33:31 | Donation Segment: ACC’s creepy Dave Matthews story; JCD’s “spectacular” chicken recipe |
1:48:39 | Rep. Eric Cantor to Meet the Press: Republican race “a very hard fart primary”; Ron Paul victory in Virginia, JCD theory: GOP throwing election to avoid getting blamed for economic collapse; NewsHour on shutdown of blog with photos of Romney family at home with “yellow tumbler cups”, JCD: “they don’t want him to win!”, JCD Red Book: no October war, ACC: “Romney in a Zorro costume” to ensure defeat; Ron Paul super PAC based in Salt Lake City |
2:00:06 | ACC Red Book: CNN claims U6 unemployment numbers are up because of optimism |
2:01:14 | AT&T shill Edward Amoroso to Rep. Doris Matsui: the stupid slaves should have cloud appliances instead of computers, Sen. Susan Collins: “3 billion cyberattacks” in 2010 (CotD) |
2:09:14 | Lucifer Clinton promoting “North American Union” passport cards |
2:12:20 | Chinese Interviews Before Execution reality show with “Miss Ding”; Smash gay-fest |
2:15:38 | Producer note on Benjamin Netanyahu on El Al flight 33; suicide feet on the shore |
2:17:26 | Erin Burnett blathers about proud presidential tradition of “hanging with camels” |
2:23:38 | Ray LaHood’s spook son released by Egypt after securing $3bn from IMF |
2:25:53 | Pat Robertson all-in on pot legalization; Germany & Switzerland trying to repatriate gold |