Call Clooney!

378 Pooper & Blitzer (2012-01-29)

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0:00:00ACC: “Mic check, mic check!” JCD: “Mic check!” (2:01:07)
0:00:34JCD’s prospect of officiating ACC’s and Ms. Micky’s wedding, “we’ll do a roast!”
0:05:53“Pooper and Blitzer” gripe about Newt Gingrich’s refusal to address “serious allegation” about Romney’s taxes: “and then when I pressed him on it and didn’t back down, he responded”, ACC: “why don’t they just do it right and hire Ryan Seacrest?”, Romney’s one-liners from “the back of Boys’ Life magazine”; White House “scriptwriting session” with Jeb Bush
0:15:04Lucifer Clinton’s scripted town hall with producer warning crowd to “always be diplomatic in your questions and your performance”, Server Not Found at “foreign assistance dashboard”, “we’re moving moving moving” to replace IE 7 with Chrome, “coincidental” resignation of Aneesh Chopra; public toilet app wins award from Dutch government
0:32:54Producer Segment: “red-tie Obama and blue-tie Obama”
0:41:28Distraction of the Week: The Insider on Demi Moore’s convulsions after smoking “a potentially dangerous substance” like synthetic THC spice or K2, ACC’s unpleasant experience smoking “hash” made of melted CDs; new network Investigation Discovery Channel with memorable musical transition, ACC on working with smoking hit cello player Paula Zahn
0:53:58Count of twitching teens in Le Roy New York now at 15 with one boy, NIH spokeshole slips with “we’re able to… that we’re interested in making second opinions on these cases”, new PANDAS theory, ominous warning from neurologist Dr. Laszlo Mechtler: “this may be a significant concern for the health of the girls”; Erin Brockovich to Dr. Drew Pinsky on 1971 train derailment involving TCE trichloroethylene; 15k adverse events reported to VAERS in 2009; PFC perfluorinated compounds in microwave popcorn bags interfering with vaccines tweeting about diagnosing ADHD at age four (ACCPPotD); side effect litany from ADHD drug “adding Intuniv helped Eric!” ad; actress Jaime Winstone to BBC pushing Gardasil and new documentary about oral sex and “Haitch PV”; Le Roy “bad batch” theory
1:20:53“Secretary of War” Leon Panetta laughs “it’s a good question” how many wars the US is in
1:24:57The New Yorker and Andrew Napolitano covering producer’s fake drone signs; 33 pounds of cocaine “delivered by accident” to UN headquarters inside hollow books
1:28:12John’s Gonna Hum the Sunday Times: Syrian riot photo above the fold; Anhar Kochneva to RT: coded instructions for protesters in weather reports; media ignoring Polish ACTA riots
1:34:06Producer note on impending military deployment to Iran; reports of 33 killed in Syria & Iraq
1:36:59Donation Segment: televangelist “don’t be surprised if I don’t call you personally”
2:01:15The Euro: Germany proposes Troika take over Greek spending, ACC Operation Paperclip Nazi sleeper cells theory; World Economic Forum organizer Klaus Schwab: “we have chosen as a title Ze Great Transformation”, JCD: “you sound like Triumph the insult comic dog now!”
2:12:09Release of Heineken kidnapper Willem Holleeder a distraction from Dutch taxpayers overpaying €3-15bn in ABN AMRO bailout; dismal employment numbers from Portugal and Spain
2:19:11Douchebag Jack Welch: “the GOP is gonna have to exit” Ron Paul
2:24:51Jeremy Paxman to First Minister Alex Salmond: an independent Scotland “would also be broke, of course”, “I think I recall Robert Mugabe saying something similar about Zimbabwe”
2:29:16Don Lemon introduces caterwauling Christina Aguilera; Joe Biden catches himself doing Indian accent; Lemon “keep going” teleprompter flub, CNN Hero Aaron Jackson: “today we’ve dewormed an estimated maybe a little over a hundred people” in Africa
2:33:43Al Sharpton and Joe Madison accuse Jan Brewer of racism; ACC tests Twitter censorship