Call Clooney!

349 Grandma Clinton (2011-10-20)

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0:00:00ACC: “When I met the Queen I curtsied.” JCD: “I bet you did.” (2:15:08)
0:00:32Ding Dong the Witch is Dead and AK-47s for Muammar Gaddafi, ACC: rebels’ new weapon “like a Mardi Gras float”; Lucifer Clinton in Tripoli: UN and US “stand ready” to create army and police forces, Fulbright program expansion to “train” students, “Libya is blessed with wealth and resources, most particularly the human resources”, Mahmoud Jibril’s resignation; Hoover Institute shill compares Gaddafi and Saddam Hussein, Sarkozy “vindicated”
0:14:31Deadlock over slave revolt in Greece, 188% bond yield, predicted 15% drop in Dutch pension distributions, Andrew Horowitz attributes euro’s strength to its imminent collapse
0:19:1411-year-old “Timothy Geithner” celebrates Gaddafi’s death; Lucifer Clinton giddy at “unconfirmed” reports; TNC’s rotund information minister; Lucifer lies to Savannah Guthrie about her plans to leave politics and be “at home, sittin’ around” with Bill: “I can’t wait!”, fake laugh for grandparenthood plans, lies about Chelsea not headed into politics, “I wanna get back to writing and maybe some teaching, working on women and girls around the world”, JCD: “I’m surprised she doesn’t mouth the words call me and hold her hand up to her ear!”
0:30:13Producer Segment: humanitarian “Slave” T-shirts for North Korea;
0:39:38ACC interviews Jonathan Kay about his book Among the Truthers: A Journey Through America’s Growing Conspiracist Underground, Foundation for Defense of Democracies think tank shill, conspiracy theories primarily a male domain, “at the end of the day, we’re all anti-Semites”; CIA off the hook for destroying evidence of 9/11 interrogations
0:46:10Creepy Rand Paul to Timmy Geithner: “can you think of a body, maybe in New York?” that has an outsize influence on interest rates; JCD on “cycle of crashes” alleviated by Fed
0:51:29American Gladiators” Republican debate with Anderson Pooper, pre-show with “CFR shill extraordinaire” Erin Burnett and Wolf Blitzer disrupted by Occupy Los Vegas; Ron Paul points out that Ronald Reagan traded with Iran for hostages; Tom Santelli’s broken nose
0:57:51Win Lose or Drone: Rick Perry calls for Predator drones on US-Mexico border; JCD on Marco Rubio’s potential; Morning Joe: “everyone knows” Ron Paul can’t win; Herman Cain sings about pizza; Michele Bachmann proposes sending an invoice to Iraq and Afghanistan
1:11:06“Fecal strep” on Anderson Pooper’s phone; upcoming FEMA Emergency Alert System test
1:14:26Geithner “if you were in my shoes” for Sen. Scott Brown; Sen. Mary Landrieu distinguishes between millionaires and income over a million; Naomi Wolf gripes about Occupy Wall Street arrest by “phalanx” of police, JCD: “heavy infantry armed with spears, pikes, and sarissas”
1:30:20Furor over Louisiana bill outlawing cash sales of “junk” or secondhand goods
1:36:38Stammering Obama tries to address Iranian plot against Saudi ambassador; DEA head Michele Leonhart keeping marijuana on Schedule I; DEA cracking down on psilocybin mushrooms
1:40:44Lame Korean ad for coffee as a weight loss aid, ACC: “it’s a pump and dump”
1:43:07Donation Segment: producer clip celebrating No Agenda karma
1:59:21Prostitution on the rise in Portugal; “research” links vitamin supplements to death risk in older women; JCD tries to guess subject of Johnson & Johnson “I am your little V” ad
2:10:55Theories about secret “man cave” West Wing construction project
2:12:48Majority of Australians all-in on Queen of England; media knuckle under on self-censorship
2:16:42$75T in Bank of America derivatives under the wing of FDIC; student loan debt over $1T; Idaho replacing Mexicans with prisoners; Libyan WiMAX; Belgium the top weapons dealer
2:25:13MSNBC goes dark for 12 seconds to cut off British woman ranting about US use of drones