Call Clooney!

304 Chimp in Heat (2011-05-15)

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0:00:00JCD: “What evidence is there of this?”
0:00:34Crackdown on unruly behavior at Bay to Breakers race, San Francisco nightclub thumbprints
0:02:07“Super-elite” socialist IMF Director Dominique Strauss-Kahn accused of sexual assault at New York hotel, “Parisians reacted with horror”, comparisons to “chimpanzee in heat”; New York Post account of Strauss-Kahn bursting naked from bathroom, JCD: “Al-le-Gore-ical story” with “poodle in heat” parallel; scheduled meeting with Angela Merkel on Greek debt restructuring, The Guardian “deep shit” quote, Haiku Herman in China peddling Greek debt
0:18:33Azerbaijan wins Eurovision Song Contest with “piece of crap” Running Scared
0:20:52Producer Segment: “Gitmo Nation Clove Cigarettes” bootleg DVDs;
0:30:33Ms. Micky’s sheep laugh; The View clone The Gossip Queens on “Bling Ring” celebrity burglars,, Fourth Amendment and domain name seizures
0:35:19Lame new “three drunks” Hot Pockets theme, CVC’s meeting with inventor
0:36:51Lucy Napolitano to CBS on “lone wolf” issue of those “radicalized via the internet”, “Usama” disambiguation theory, ACC: “President Ubama”, Katie Couric “veritable treasure trove” meme, Napolitano rail meme, ACC: “Rail LaHood”, “inspired by al-Qaeda” meme, Dulles TSA “nerve center” tour; Bill Clinton repeats “veritable treasure trove” to Maria Bartiromo, skeptical about Pakistan, “Dr. al-Zawahiri”, al-Qaeda operating like “franchise”
0:47:06Former CIA Richard Clark to Bill Maher: “we’re not on the road out” of Afghanistan, “the only worse ally you could have is Pakistan”; Charles Krauthammer compares Afghanistan to Otto von Bismark’s view of the Balkans: “not worth the bones of a single Pomeranian grenadier”, ACC: “that metaphor really speaks to me”, “Pakistan is the prize, or to put it another way, Pakistan is the problem” recovery; Manhattan Institute spook Judith Miller on Obama’s “month wiggle room” after 60-day Libya withdrawal deadline
0:56:40Chaz Bono making the book rounds; Obama’s March 21 “not a matter of weeks” revisited
0:58:51Gaddafi not seen at funerals for nine Libyan imams killed in NATO bombing
1:00:54Osama bin Laden diary in “veritable treasure trove”: “don’t bother” assassinating O’Biden; mysterious disappearing satellite dish in compound photos, JCD “burqa porn”
1:04:41JCD’s lame soap opera “the lady with the scalpel is as high as a kite” dialogue
1:06:44House votes 392-15 to fund intelligence organizations on heels of bin Laden killing; JFK: “there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment”
1:14:18Hillary Lucifer Clinton on bin Laden “war room” photo: “well!”, “I don’t even think I was aware there was a photographer there”; Obama to no longer re-enact announcements for press
1:19:56Donation Segment: Bill Clinton all-in on internet ratings agency “like National Public Radio”
1:40:42Two to the Head: high-profile lawyer Darnay Hoffman stabs himself in the chest
1:42:59Texas House bill to outlaw TSA groping “including through the clothing”
1:44:45Indiana Supreme Court: homeowners cannot resist illegal police searches, decision by Justice Steven H. David, JCD: “he looks like a drunk!”, appointed by Mitch Daniels, ACC: “Micky, take Indiana off the map!”; low-flying planes and power outages at ACC’s “porn house” online Alzheimer’s test, GPS “smart shoes”, caregivers at risk of “catching” dementia; NPR on HIV antiviral regimen “cure”; Peace Corps rape allegations
2:05:33Ask Adam: broadcasting “package” with transition to soundproof booth for voiceover
2:10:03Ask John: first annual EMC Data Hero Visionary Award goes to Vivek Kundra