Call Clooney!

298 Hot Mature Plumpers (2011-04-24)

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0:00:00JCD: “There’s a wife-swapping underground of people in RVs.” (1:51:46)
0:00:38ACC and Mimi’s “three-week flu” potentially extending 60 days, JCD’s “Clipapalooza”
0:04:56Salinas “Eggstravaganza” Easter event “familiarizing kids with the Salinas Police Department”
0:07:31Donald Trump’s ego plus election “perfect for the show”; JCD story: Billy Graham at UC using eye lights; Franklin Graham to Christiane Amanpour: “the more you listen to him the more you say to yourself, y’know, maybe the guy’s right”; #33 on Forbes Celebrity 100 list
0:16:24Robin Leach to giddy Geraldo Rivera: Royal Wedding “schlock” waste of money, flamboyant Marcellas Reynolds in Kate Middleton’s trendsetting black dress
0:20:48Producer Segment: and
0:26:45Men’s Rolex-wearing clog-stomping Lucifer Clinton’s press conference with Dutch Foreign Affairs Minister Uriël Rosenthal, “400 years of history”, incoherent Rosenthal gripes about Gaddafi and “his cronies”, press milieu slips into British pronunciation “allies”, Hillary compares situation with 78 days of bombing in Serbia, “warehouses of materiel” destroyed; Gaddafi’s plans for Chinese-minted gold dinar to replace US dollar
0:45:25Mournful John McCain visiting Libyan hospitals; Col. Ralph Peters to Juan Williams on “hero” McCain “trying to do the job that our runaway fraidy-cat president just refuses to do”, rebels “not even sure” who they are; dehumanizing “boots on the ground” meme everywhere; The Ten Commandments “the more slaves we have the more bricks we make” iso
0:52:54Obama telegraphing move against Syria, British Foreign Office urging evacuation; bomb plot in Indonesia, Justin Bieber “terima kasih”; joint US-Uganda “Atlas Drop” air exercise
0:57:58Trains Good Planes Bad: National Train Day Rockin’ the Railway Concert with Gladys Knight; former Chinese Railway Minister Liu Zhijun fired in February for embezzlement and crippling $276bn in debt, speeds reduced 30mph for safety, JCD: “where’s Michael Moore?
1:03:14Biodiversitée: CNN’s T.J. Holmes confesses “eco-sins” for Earth Day; dreadful EPA propaganda rap song Click It – Flip It written by “certified performance nutritionist” Ted Coopwood
1:11:37Donation Segment: NPR’s list of 2009 corporate sponsors; ACC’s biscuit tube injury
2:29:19Erin Burnett proposes demolishing distressed properties since they are “not going to be stylish by the time people actually want to buy ‘em”, Deutche Bank shill Joe LaVorgna and Rick Santelli all-in; Obama proposes three-point plan for gas prices after criticizing politicians for proposing three-point plans for gas prices, Eric Holder’s price manipulation taskforce
1:41:19News package on revised Alzheimer’s diagnosis guidelines, bapineuzumab vaccine in the works, statins linked to memory loss, on the lookout for Law & Order vaccine plots
1:50:50JCD discovers wife-swapping RV clubs, Sandals Resorts ad laced with double entendres
1:55:40The Onion: Director Robert Mueller admits to Congress that FBI has solved no crimes since 2001; CNN hit piece on FBI misconduct; hints from Obama about moving Leon Panetta over to DoD; DHS VIPR terrorism drill in West Palm Beach
2:01:57George W. Bush at Bill Frist portrait unveiling: “I can assure you, Bill, that we are delighted to be here to watch you hang”; JCD: Obama’s comic timing “impeccable”
2:07:38Gwyneth Paltrow slammed for “comfortable with insensitivity”, Scott Adams to the rescue
2:09:39Belgium government-less for one year; France pushing for Schengen Agreement suspension in face of mass migration from Libya, JCD on introduction of border controls after World War I
2:14:57Michelle Obama employing 26 servants at cost of $1.75M per year; EU Parliament votes down austerity for itself; study links babies crying at night with future behavioral health problems