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274 GaGa vs Bieber (2011-01-30)

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0:00:00JCD: “I don’t like drying my hands at the airport, I want a towel, I want a paper towel.”
0:00:36Tragedy in Tucson handoff to unrest in Egypt, JCD: “it seems to be scripted”
0:02:05Ask John Dvorak: “is Mubarak a dictator?”; BBC on Muslim Brotherhood takeover, “managed democracy” in Jordan, “the shockwaves from the Tunisian uprising that have spread to Jordan”; Judith Miller to Geraldo Rivera: “I think I would worry about Jordan”; ACC on BBC jumping the gun on WTC 7 collapse; troubles as far away as Albania and Hungary
0:09:38Erin Burnett to Morning Joe: “we’ve been talking to a lot of the wealthy people”, “children of the wealthy” explanation for English signs, “democracy in a place like Saudi Arabia” and potential oil price spike, ACC: “cut her off!”; New York Times reporter: “Egypt has no oil, no money”; chatroom theory on Suez Canal closing in favor of US rail system
0:18:29Producer Segment: Nap for Humanity jingle
0:30:08State Department Middle East color revolution formula; man on the street: the likes of Lech Wałęsa replaced by “bloggers!”; socialist Al Jazeera “cute chick” Gihan Ibrahim; CNN on couple “on holiday” in Egypt who “truly appreciate the freedoms Americans have”; Piers Morgan unable to get even 500k viewers with the “Kardouchians”, ACC Larry King impression; CNN sound effects for Sami Abdul Aziz interview: “we are here to talk to talk to our government –– the American government”; CNN “we need justice!” screech from Atlanta protest
0:44:45CVC confirms “vodka eyeballing” is all the rage, 2000 Kevin & Perry Go Large origin
0:46:14Lucy Napolitano announces National Terror Advisory System: “today I would like to announce the end of the old system of color-coded alerts!”, “we –– will –– tell you”, “specific or credible terrorist threat”, demands applause for “specified end date”, “built on the commonsense belief that we’re all in this together”, arrests of “US persons” like Najibullah Zazi and Faisal Shahzad
0:58:51Lawyer passenger to Detroit Fox station on crotch bomber: “the US government escorted him through security without a passport”; Robert Gibbs’ successor former Time Magazine journalist Jay Carney married to ABC News journalist; JCD on drunk Diane Sawyer
1:04:13Studies linking HPV and “certain head and neck cancers” to oral sex; Netherlands deploying untested vaccine for goat-related Q fever; Indiana University study on hot news anchors
1:11:46Donation Segment: Super Bowl prediction: Packers over Steelers
1:23:40Whole Foods all-in on USDA “conditional deregulation” of GMO alfalfa
1:25:08Arthur J. Gallagher dividend up 3% to $0.33; BP $3.3bn payout; Disneyland Club 33
1:28:25ACC on New Yorkers blaming global warming for cold weather; Bill Maher and Rachel Maddow hysterical at denialist guest, JCD “just cap”, paper towels vs Dyson Airblade dryers
1:36:26And Now Back to Real News: Extra teaser; The Hollywood Whackers jingle, John Travolta to play John Gotti, James Caan offers to bail out recently-arrested mobster Andrew Russo; Charlie Sheen in rehab; HLN Showbiz Tonight “is it Gaga, or is it Bieber?”
1:42:10Manchester Airport projecting faces onto “hologram” cardboard cutouts; Ogden Utah considering “crime blimp”, “it becomes a deterrent when people know that there’s something watching you and following you”, JCD on mugging of KGO crew, blimp target practice
1:48:31Haiku Herman “shut up slave” for Asian girl asking about EU “lack of democracy”; Australian club biometrics; Ray LaHood all-in on passive blood alcohol sensors from contractor QinetiQ
1:59:10UK “proximity payments” coming soon; Vodafone defends shutting down Egyptian internet
2:02:02Haitian children eating “dirt cookies”; Hillary Clinton checking on “too close to call” election, Yemen trip-and-fall; Jacqui Smith’s porn documentary; Berluscone and age of consent