Call Clooney!

253 Love Pats (2010-11-18)

Show 253 album art
0:00:00JCD: “Y’know, Janet Napolitano who refused to go through the machine, you say, well, ’cause of the radiation, no, because she knows, she’s worked for the government, she knows that once she steps foot in that machine they’re saving that picture of her dead-ass naked and they’re gonna use it as blackmail!” (0:37:57)
0:00:50Gitmo Nation National Anthem; No Agenda producers unsurprised by TSA enhanced patdown outrage; California DAs promise charges against TSA screeners committing sexual crimes
0:06:38Producer Segment: “TSA agent” to Free Talk Live: “in the morning” and “I have no agenda”
0:14:47Conan O’Brien on enhanced patdowns; TSA’s John Pistole dodges Margaret Warner blowback question; “two flights at the same time” canned answer for Senate and PBS, “passenger rail and mass transit” vs Obama “no takin’ off your shoes”; “correct” for Warner’s “body cavity”
0:30:33KTLA’s Lu Parker: John Tyner opted out of scan “that, by the way, emits just about the same radiation as a cell phone conversation”; Pistole lies about child exemption and X-ray exposure “well within the safety standards”, no vendor statements on optional ANSI standard
0:35:52Chair Jay Rockefeller ditches hearing, Claire McCaskill “love pats” meme, “I am wildly excited about the notion that I can walk through a machine”, congratulates DHS for “real successes” like H1N1; Arne Duncan outs Michael Chertoff “insider deal”; Ron Paul one-paragraph solution bill, “I think this whole idea of an opt-out day is just great!”; Dianne Feinstein addresses TSA unionization non-answer: “I’m glad you don’t think it makes a lot of sense”
0:53:39Michael Moore on 12-hour NYC-LA bullet train; JCD predicts opt-out day slowdown
1:00:29S.510 FDA Food Safety Modernization Act bringing in DHS; producer note on finding box of aspartame at grocery store and running mouse experiment; aspartame ant poison; CDC backs off on fluoride; Ray LaHood all-in on automotive cell phone scramblers
1:07:35Donation Segment
1:16:22Stargate and 48 earthquakes in Gulf of Aden, ACC: “I think the thing is being activated”
1:19:37And Now Back to Real News: Extra weekly wrap; publicist Ronni Chasen “whacked” with five to the chest; Beatles music finally arrives on iTunes
1:26:02More cholera deaths in Haiti, protester shot dead by UN “peacekeeper”; Clinton Foundation commits $500k for “education and awareness campaign”; GM “IPO” at $33 per share
1:32:38Haiku Herman: EU in “survival crisis”; Irish PM Dick Roche to BBC: no IMF bailout needed, “bad debt dominoes” meme; Biodiversit√©e jingle
1:40:54Arms dealer Viktor Bout arrested in Thailand DEA sting, Charles Osgood heavily-edited Q&A with Juan Zarate: “sometimes called the Merchant of Death”, Colombian FARC links; Gitmo prisoner acquitted of everything but conspiracy
1:52:26Microsoft Kinect terms of service “you should not expect any level of privacy concerning your use of the live communication features”; ACC’s in-house mail server, constant spam activity in SMTP log; JCD on getting information from AT&T insider subsequently busted
1:57:46Jon Stewart Obama’s Asia trip mockery compilation; New York Times on Obama avoiding gay mentor in Indonesia; Stewart Bill Clinton “compromise” compilation, GOP Clinton “nasty bad naughty boy” hate compilation; ACC’s e-mail from Clinton on 2022 World Cup bid
2:07:36H.R.645 National Emergency Centers Establishment Act “concentration camp act”
2:08:50Bristol Palin and Jersey Shore “The Situation” safe sex PSA, JCD: “turn it off!
2:11:34Outro: WPIX Lionel, Dave Barry, and Ron Paul on TSA “love pats” for end of show