Call Clooney!

225 Checkpoint Nation (2010-08-12)

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0:00:00JCD: “Then if that’s the case, why can’t I go sign up some slaves?” (1:27:47)
0:00:40ACC’s Adam Carolla Show PR work; USA Today on average federal civilian salary of $123k
0:05:20Producer Segment: Nokia app store “n-word” douchebaggery; Stealth Tone app
0:15:24Two-to-the-head: peak oil theorist and BP critic Matt Simmons dead in hot tub
0:18:24German tourist killed in Union Square shootout; San Francisco “demand-responsive” meters
0:22:26Portugal restricting salt content in bread, fines up to €5k; UN “let them eat bugs” position “to stamp out famine and combat global warming”, JCD’s chocolate-covered grasshoppers, ACC predicts Hot Pockets with bugs, toasted ants; JCD on Unmentionable Cuisine book with French Revolution rat recipes, “they’re gonna have us eating boogers”
0:30:23And Now Back to Real News: Naomi Campbell’s former agent’s testimony on dinner-table blood diamond delivery plans, Campbell “knock at my door” account, free pass for Mandela
0:37:40Wyclef Jean’s Gulfstream IV N254GA owned by NetJets Middle East Ltd used by bankers and Bill Clinton; Clinton Bush Haiti Fund $50k for papier-mâché sculptor
0:41:22Chuck Schumer’s S.3728 Innovative Design Protection and Piracy Prevention Act
0:44:37Former Sen. Ted Stevens killed in Alaska plane crash, botched 2009 prosecution, memoir underwritten by BP; ACC on experienced bush pilot Terry Smith, son-in-law killed two weeks prior piloting C-17, global extreme weather, “they got fried by a Tesla beam from this HAARP array”, NTSB ignoring bent wings, National Guard medical team vs “several local Samaritans”
0:57:57Radioactive wild boars in Germany, wildfires around Chernobyl releasing radioactive ash
0:58:24Donation Segment: Bill Hicks on advertising “like a turd falling into my drink”
1:09:59Open-source model vs federal civilian“ control freaks” (JCDPPotD); median mainstream TV viewership ages in 40s and 50s, JCD: networks “gonna get a Social Security check”
1:11:44Robert Gibbs “coked out” theory, Cindy Sheehan proposes “pee-off” over Gibbs’ “ought to be drug-tested”; Charlie Gasparino on GE’s Jeff Immelt warning NBC managers to go easy on Obama, JCD on CNBC bearishness and dot-com collapse; high-frequency trading legality
1:21:47Democracy Now on ISP CEO Nicholas Merrill’s national security letter fight, JCD on “dragnet” for lazy FBI agents, nondisclosure agreements vs free speech and private slavery contracts, Merrill on “no instructions on how to appeal, there was nothing about contacting a lawyer”
1:32:12UK antiterrorist hotline ads: “a terrace house on our street has blacked-out windows”, “far too much for such a small plot of land”, edited-together “a terrorist plot may have been discovered”; smoking in car considered child abuse; producer note on VBS My ID hymn
1:39:08New Allstate protection racket ad with teenage girl hit-and-run; local newspaper ad with $3400 DUI interlock price tag sign, threatening Checkpoint Strikeforce police PSA creator Smartronix acquires company linked to Vivek Kundra
1:48:39UK “superbug” gene NDM-1 blamed on medical tourism in India; British Heart Association pushing statins; Obama “jock in chief” activities; Illinois back-to-school sales tax holiday WTF
1:56:50Pope refuses resignations from Irish assistant bishops over Pedobear situation
1:57:46Trains Good Planes Bad: Super Turbo Train toy ad; Delta passenger booted for reporting alcohol on pilot’s breath; TSA snow globe ban; AJetBlue attendant Steven Slater quitting via chute, Michael Musto: “I’m gonna go home and follow him on Facebook”, pricey movie clips, ex-wife: “he is a dramatic fellow”, Slater “kind of neat”, Hill+Knowlton beer meme; Rachel Maddow on Chinese New Year trips via high-speed rail, there vs here with melodramatic sigh
2:13:04Outro: end-of-show clip John Pilger “Obama is a corporate marketing creation”