Call Clooney!

220 Hillary For President! (2010-07-25)

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0:00:00ACC: “You have a higher likelihood of gettin’ tased than gettin’ laid.” (0:26:49)
0:00:38CVC notes San Francisco “sucks the life energy out of you”; Fringale lamb shank and “arrogant French chick”; Sergei Brin’s wife’s DNA sequencing business 23andMe under GAO scrutiny
0:06:32Producer Segment
0:14:35JCD interprets Twilight as modern business allegory: “the three evil vampires that come in and start killing people represent business consultants”, JC’s drug metaphor theory, Stephenie Meyer’s receptionist background; JCD recommends 2007 Rhône wines; impossibility of writing Atlas Shrugged screenplay, disappearance of the miniseries, Roots & Shōgun, “Ken Burns effect”
0:22:27“Shotgun Taser” XREP extended range electronic projectile ad: “standard 12 gauge shotgun”, ACC “I loaded the wrong shell” scenario, Clarence Thomas’ nephew Tased by hospital security
0:27:43Energy Policy Act of 1992 limiting shower head flow rate to 2.5 gpm; hotel towel reuse
0:31:59Boston Globe’s Bryan Bender on “several dozen” Pentagon employees and contractors involved in child pornography, ACC on underlings being thrown under bus as diversion; “Vatican” Google search SEOed to pedophile site, “Google washing”; Mail Online on Catholic priests at clubs with underage boys; sex trafficking by Army sergeant in Tacoma; BBC on former Pennsylvania judge accepting bribes to imprison juveniles, ACC: “it’s known as the cash for kids system”; National Enquirer’s two new Al Gore masseuses, “take care of this
0:47:39Hillary Clinton on the road with Greta Van Susteren in Pakistan, JCD on recent line of female Secretaries of State, Hillary: “we had helped to create the problem we’re now fighting” in the form of Mujahideen armed against Soviets; Tony the Terrorist on useless Stinger missiles with expiration dates and limited firing angle of elevation; The Independent on Fallujah birth defects due to use of depleted uranium, Israel to limit use of white phosphorus
0:55:58“Self-loathing Jewish hyper-intellectual” Noam Chomsky on imminent attack on Iran, hatred of neo-liberals, firepower “accelerating rapidly under Obama”, Khmer Rouge supporter
1:03:34Donation Segment: Mel Gibson Chantix theory semi-confirmed; CVC’s aspartame gum habit
1:18:16Dr. Andrew Wakefield finding maturational decline in vaccinated monkey brains
1:21:58Abby Winters migrating porn servers from Australia to Amsterdam; FOIAed Australian internet censorship documents 90% redacted to “stop premature unnecessary debate”; Julia Gillard all-in on 2012 climate action; Spanish Tour de France win and “mysterious malfunction”
1:24:40USGS tweet on unusual “closely-spaced M7+ quakes” in Philippines
1:26:07Vivek Kundra irked by GAO’s critique of “dashboard” using obsolete data
1:29:21Satirical Wired article on writing about Haiti: “always use the phrase the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere”; Bill O’Reilly misreads “national news new media — that’s me”
1:37:43Wooden sailing ship found under World Trade Center moved to JFK Hangar 17
1:38:37Cholesterol drug Niaspan “hey Pete, yeah it’s me, big brother” ad
1:42:48New BP helicopter cockpit Photoshop job, oil cam video with opening studio door; technician’s testimony on “inhibited” general alarm: “they did not want people woke up a three o’clock in the morning due to false alarms”; Ocean Energy Institute’s Matthew Simmons: “we have now poisoned the entire Gulf of Mexico”; producer note on dead birds in neighboring states
1:58:09Mother gives marijuana to squalling twelve-year-old son for “self-loathing and lethargy”; LA Times favors alcohol; Bill Press on new progressive strategy of buying radio stations
2:05:37Woman dies of sex toy heart attack; Nature study: marmots growing due to climate change
2:06:30Outro: Mel Gibson character assassination possibly due to new conspiracy theory film