Call Clooney!

192 Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (2010-04-18)

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0:00:00ACC: “It’s dangerous to fly! It’s dangerous to fly! Tell everybody to shut down!!” (0:17:14)
0:00:38Eyjafjallajökull “Ashmageddon” with French railway strike, war on aviation
0:02:31Producer Segment
0:09:54Ashmageddon grounds civil aviation and VFR, forced landings by Mirages and RAF; Rick Sanchez: “too cold to have a volcano there”; Eurocontrol producers on November volcano exercise, order from ICAO and VAAC Volcano Ash Advisory Center, Scandinavian Airlines captain: “biggest hysteria of the century”, KLM ash-less test flight, Saudi Arabian private jets cleared, ACC: “it’s a total hoax!”, collecting or lasering particulates vs computer models, chemtrail hiatus; ACC predicts “high-speed rail is good” spin
0:25:50Chinese high-speed rail for California, JCD on 24-hour San Francisco to Seattle train trip, high-speed trains in “trench”, scenic trip to Croatia; secretive X-37B space vehicle launch; JCD remote-control crash test dummy plane flipping off pursuers
0:35:39Amputee serviceman to BBC: “the Afghan policemen were on heroin”
0:38:53CNN on “porn for the blind” in Braille
0:40:32Bill Clinton predicts Haiti turning into Mexico if unchecked; presidential “please buy clothes from Haiti”, “Haiti toothbrush donation month”; Red Cross elite Gail McGovern explains why organization is MIA: “it’s psychologically empowering”, JCD: “I’m losing my leg!”, “we have not chosen to slap our brand on all of that supplies … that eats up time”; tent cities situated away from Port-au-Prince to make room for UN
0:53:26Bill Maher all-in in child tax liability, “renters and breeders”, rattled by own use of “Chinaman”, “Teabagger” meme; Lawrence Bender’s Countdown to Zero terrorist nukes scenario
1:01:23Donation Segment
1:08:30Haiku Herman Van Rompuy’s haiku book released, “do I look like a dictator?”, “in the nearby ditch / toads mating passionately / inaugurates Spring”
1:12:40Nebraska Sen. Mike Johanns tough talk for drunk C-SPAN caller on “too big to fail”, “I would not go there” on reinstating Glass-Steagall
1:20:18ERB Educational Records Bureau preschool test; “hot ultra-nerd girl” Nicole Gelinas’ “nerd porn” interview with Harry Markopolos, no bailouts for Madoff victims, “the anger is palpable” over bank bonuses; J.P. Morgan’s David Lowman mobbed after “come to me” testimony; SEC suing Goldman Sachs; Jim Cramer thrown off CNBC
1:35:11Rachel Maddow Supreme Court “dyke-fest” with Janet Napolitano
1:37:06Don’t Blame the Short author Robert Sloan on absurdity of Blanche Lincoln derivatives ban
1:41:12UK American-style debates, background on global elite Nick Clegg; American Thinker on MIA Obama girlfriends, JCD: “maybe they’re all dead”
1:45:1114-year-old producer on slavery’s center stage in Civil War curriculum
1:48:01EO “Blocking Property of Certain Persons Contributing to the Conflict in Somalia”
1:49:14Polish TU-154 non-operational tracking system, clipping birch tree story
1:50:36Upcoming FEMA NLE National Level Exercise focused on domestic terrorism, “National Planning Scenario #1”, JCD: “this is a movie promotion”; James Cameron and Sigourney Weaver campaigning to stop Brazilian dam
1:53:40Obama $5M tax return posted, Biden’s $333k; FBI allowing family to keep Ted Kennedy’s records sealed; health insurance companies investing in fast food
1:57:48Outro: Maddow-Napolitano full end-of-show clip