Call Clooney!

1392 TRANSNOODLE (2021-10-21)

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0:00:00JCD: “Yass yass well it’s yak yak yak.” (0:19:23)
0:00:35JCD’s “river of doom” rains; controversy over CEO’s response to “pawternity leave” request, JMD weighs in on Labrador personality types, ACC & TtK bring home “perfect dog” Miss Phoebe Buffay, JCD: “sounds like a stripper to me”, Curry family Newfoundland tradition
0:09:51JCD 3x3: CBS mocks Facebook rebranding and fake accounts, ABC rolls out pink color scheme for “Dr. Jill Biden”, NBC promotes “face of mental illness” Simone Biles and effeminate pill-pushing spokeshole, ABC deals and steals with cha-ching cash register
0:22:42ABC tries to explain away death of fully-vaccinated “worst kind of yes man” Colin Powell, Dr. Jen Ashton tells us to “think like a doctor” with “he’s African-American” lie, JCD questions return of “Colon” pronunciation; CBS doctor Megan Ranney: “I wouldn’t blame this on the vaccine”; Yale epidemiologist Dr. Harvey Risch: “the unvaccinated should be afraid of the vaccinated”; Leana Wen reads “highest risk categorymm” script for NPR, host intones “get a shot in honor of Colin Powell”, JCD: “the shot killed him!”; Robert Redfield notes more than 40% of Maryland deaths were fully vaccinated; M5M “brought to you by Pfizer” compilation
0:42:12Protests in Trieste Italy, Lockheed Martin Skunk Works walkout; NHL suspends Evander Kane over fake vaccine card; Mayo Clinic workers’ rally, GE walkout; notes on religious exemption documentation and inevitable First Amendment lawsuit; leaked phone audio of DoJ lawyer Marty Letterman addressing aborted fetal cell objections; JCD perplexed at lack of FDA approval for Pfizer-BioNTech vs Comirnaty, “it’s almost like a EULA”; Celine Dion cancels appearances due to muscle spasms; parents “anxiously awaiting” emergency use authorization for children ages 5-11; Ontario Ministry of Health “forces on the ground” ready for green light
0:57:37Joy Reid mocks anti-mandate police officers and unions as “the absolute worst”; CNN’s John King reveals his MS with “in this case it’s important” note; Bill Gates’ vehicle surrounded by angry mob after visit with Boris Johnson, JCD: “he’d be rockin’”; producer note on doctors billing Medicare/Medicaid for “COVID vaccination counseling”, ACC: “fuck you people!
1:09:092001 Johns Hopkins Dark Winter videos reposted to YouTube with “the US smallpox vaccine supply continues to shrink” meme; producer note on old practice of aspirating needle, JCD all-in on Prevnar 13 pneumonia vaccine; rumors of the fully-vaccinated developing AIDS
1:19:50Dictator Dan threatens the unvaccinated with boosters and new variants “well into 2022”
1:24:00Producer Segment: Trump’s new Truth Social and merch spam
1:51:54Blue topaz 14th anniversary stone, AkzoNobel paint manufacturer claiming blue pigment shortage; Fox The Five shamelessly promotes Kraft FLVRS Club mac & cheese
1:54:54Protests and data leak by woke Netflix employees over Dave Chapelle special, self-righteous “I did collect the data, but I did not leak the data”, JCD on dangers of hiring “transnoodle” employees; privileged protestor David Huggard; Superman’s “better tomorrow”; Jefferson statue to be removed from New York City Hall; China to punish parents of ill-behaved children
2:11:54NPR on CIA Havana Syndrome sufferer Marc Polymeropoulos, pulsed microwave theory; Putin smeared for being distracted by CNBC reporter Hadley Gamble, Sochi Olympics “Putin hates dogs” meme; ABC fear porn over Chinese hypersonic missile test
2:32:52Over the counter devices “hearing aids” thanks to Bose and Elizabeth Warren
2:35:35Donation Segment: JCD channels Lady Elaine Fairchilde
2:53:09Meetup kids “let’s go Brandon” iso; Biden rambles about Amtrak plans in Scranton, 2010 Obama “no takin’ off your shoes” revisited; P&G price hikes; color-coded bread bags