Call Clooney!

1374 Shetard (2021-08-19)

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0:00:00JCD: (German accent)These papers look very good!” (1:46:51)
0:00:33JCD monitoring California “screw your privacy” bill, TtK facing Texas Hill Country scorpion plague while ACC is in the Netherlands, JCD: “oh, it’s a lightning bug, how pretty!
0:03:27JCD 3x3: ABC “summer grab bag”, Hoda Kotb worships Hugh Jackman on NBC, CBS Oprah clone and Mark Zuckerberg cartoons visit the Metaverse; JCD story: Fuchs’ dystrophy complications in second cataract surgery; Jason Rantz on transplant candidates being denied organs based on vaccination status; JCD’s empty tent city “hazmat suit” COVID-19 test
0:23:23Jen Psaki “why these vaccines are safe, why they can still kill you even if you are under the age of 27” flub; ACC’s flood of notes from soon-to-be unemployed producers; CBS booster “they thought they had natural immunity”, “pandemic of misinformation” meme-fest; producer notes on mistreatment and subsequent shortage of nurses and police, EMTs seeing deaths from COVID-positive vaccinations, doctors pushing vaccines due to “COVID fatigue”
0:42:41Francis Collins assures Hugh Hewitt vaccines trump natural immunity; short-lived “third dose” vs “booster” meme; Good Morning America “Doctor Jen” answers “loaded question” about yearly boosters; Anthony Fauci claims boosters increase protection “at least 20 to 30-fold”, JCD: “wow, what a lie!”; Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear proposes “hard conversation” interventions; ACC’s perplexing “get your ass vaccinated” e-mail from Guy Kawasaki; Beshear “your individual liberty to swing your fist” redefinition of assault; Gov. Greg Abbott mocked after positive PCR test, JCD “pricker” theory; Joy Reid declares Republicans “on the side of death”; Quinnipiac University announces fines and denial of internet for unvaccinated students
0:59:50Justin Trudeau propagates “the way to get through this pandemic” lie, JCD predicts vaccine passport stamp; Anthony Fauci on the problem of drifting “fully vaccinated” semantics; Chuck Schumer calls for DoJ crackdown on counterfeit vaccination cards; Chicago pharmacist faces 120 years in prison for selling fake cards, ACC: “I guess it’s not racist to ask for ID to eat”; Jeff Pegues on FBI vs fake cards; San Diego bishop pulls the plug on religious exemptions
1:10:26New South Wales Digital Minister’s Bell’s palsy “droopy eye”; Minister of Health excludes parents from “youth command” mass vaccination event; Jacinda Ardern warns “don’t talk to your neighbors!”; former Vice President of WHO European Advisory Group of Experts in Immunization Christian Perronne: “vaccinated people should be put in quarantine” (CotD); Austin homeless report from ACC; Ohio school board meeting speaker Dr. Sean Brooks: “it you take any booster shot you will die”, “people who have taken the jabs are sterilized”, thunderous applause from hypnotized audience; Rogan and Carlson too big to fail
1:36:14Producer Segment: shecession and shecovery from “shetard” Justin Trudeau
2:19:05Gen. Mark Milley on unanticipated rapidity of Afghan “gubmint” collapse; Dana Perino “they’re telling their han… people that they know in the United States” flub; Taliban fighters’ newfound trigger discipline, JCD on “nut job” Mullah Omar; Taliban spokeshole throws Facebook under the bus; “lying spook” Richard Engel slithers out of the swamp; CNN report: “they’re just chanting death to America but they seem friendly at the same time”; Tucker Carlson mocks Antony Blinken’s stupidity and “bong hits and Pringles” Bill de Blasio
2:33:08Blinken dodges Afghanistan questions from Meet the Press with “look!”, Twitteresque “does not age well” jab from Chip Todd; July “it is not inevitable” from clueless Biden; Blinken claims pre-2001 counterterrorism prowess; Dana Perino notes Biden better not piss off the CIA in echo of Schumer’s “six ways from Sunday” warning; Blinken’s “mission accomplished” moment with Jake Tapper; EU and UK miffed at likely refugee flood and abrupt departure; Trudeau admits to seeking counsel from Hillary Clinton; Carlson riffs on National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan’s lack of credentials and idiotic claims about “effectuating a successful drawdown of our embassy”; Carlson on proliferation of misguided gender equality programs
2:49:02Leon Panetta notes failure of second mission to deny al-Qaeda and ISIS a safe haven; Gen. Lloyd Austin caught flat-footed by question about playing defense in Kabul; Prof. Michael Semple claims Taliban’s $1.6bn war chest was accumulated through taxation of opium trade; LBC caller predicts burning of poppy fields, JCD on Obama’s “poppy kings” prisoner deal
2:58:59Lara Logan to Carlson on US funding for Pakistani military and ISI and hence Taliban, “ambiguity increasing” information warfare tactic, “the United States wants this outcome”; Trump drops “twenty-one and a half years” figure, return of the Distraction of the Week jingle
3:10:10Donation Segment
3:30:19Joy Reid “freedom!” and Schwarzenegger “screw your freedom” isos