Call Clooney!

1334 Kackling Kamala (2021-04-01)

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0:00:00JCD: “Oh, we have a violation, okay, you will all suffer!” (0:21:01)
0:00:37April Fool’s “original fake news day”; Volkswagen “Voltswagen” fail; JCD’s classic “drunk driving on the information superhighway” and Sioux City “Gateway City” columns
0:09:08Pfizer marketing shifts into high gear with “graphic” images of Johnson & Johnson vaccine rash, 15,000 doses ruined by “human error”, Saturday Night Live “you get what’s left, bitch!”, freeze-dried vaccine in development; JCD resurrects a “spot check” 3x3 morning show variant; Pfizer “100% effective” in COVID-immune teens; Biden catches himself when discussing minorities as “the ones most affected by the vacc…”; Queensland implements “circuit-breaker lockdown” to punish vaccine-skeptic medical staff, older residents “so vulnerable to getting ill and dying from this vaccine” (BCotD)
0:22:19Rising star CDC Director Rochelle Walensky reads “I’m gonna lose the script” lie from her script, “right now I’m scared”, lame old ventilator shortage and “extra morgue” memes, JCD: “she’s a terrible person!”; producer note on “high risk” in Oregon over 14 cases; Broward County nurse on plans for upcoming “crisis”; Anthony Fauci on “very important question” of asymptomatic spread from vaccine recipients; new “breakthrough cases” meme
0:36:23Media begins to fearmonger about “scammers” selling fake vaccination certificates; CBS News lies about EU vaccine passport; Michael Osterholm predicts ubiquitous private sector implementations; Naomi Wolf on “literally the end of human liberty in the West”; Silicon Valley Change Healthcare vaccine passport “smooth return to work” promo video, JCD on 1980s smart card enthusiasm, 555-1212 time service; “quick nose swab” as excuse to ditch work
0:53:36California requirement for “sincerely held” religious exemption, ACC’s line in the sand for his stylist, on the lookout for Silent Generationisms from Biden like “your mother wears Army boots”; Jen Psaki asserts nothing abnormal about Biden-Harris “rebranding”; CBC channels MSNBC in hyperventilating over “surge” in cases with deaths on the decline; Canadian MPP Randy Hillier’s concentration camps now a reality, France & Germany back in lockdown; CBC all-in on Team Halo “message of truth”; producer note on Bill de Blasio conspiring with REITs to crash Manhattan real estate market; condescending NPR host Ailsa Chang tries to shame Mississippi health officer over loosening of restrictions; Delta Airlines to reopen middle seats
1:15:04“Kackling Kamala” Harris and the return of PBA pseudobulbar affect, Harris waiting impatiently for “renovations” to official residence kitchen or a convenient Oval Office vacancy
1:24:44Producer Segment: JCD’s original Microsoft mug on Etsy; No Agenda Dr. Seuss poetry
2:21:49Cicada Brood X in the media; Grover from Sesame Street celebrates the Great Reset
2:24:44Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez deflects kids-in-cages question by taking issue with “militaristic” term “surge”, Kamala Harris MIA at US-Mexico border; Rick Wilson smear campaign tit-for-tat , Matt Gaetz responds to “sex trafficking” investigation by accusing Department of Justice official David McGee of $4.5M extortion scheme
2:36:43Biden hedges Afghanistan scenario with “if we leave”, gets irked at question about reelection; Pittsburgh “I’m a union guy” lie, the return of high-speed rail narrative without Obama’s “no takin’ off your shoes”, “original highways” nonsense, “passport into your district”; forthcoming executive actions in response to computer intrusions attributed to Russia
2:50:04Massive container ship stuck in Suez Canal finally freed, China eyeing “Polar Silk Road”; Anthony Fauci vs Scott Gottlieb on dodgy WHO Wuhan report, No Agenda servers under attack during China segments, “origin of the vaccine” flub, NBC News reporter’s bombastic British accent; potential for chip shortage to be exacerbated by Biden tax hikes; NTD News on 2016 speech by Prof. Jin Canrong outlining plan to overthrow US, JCD: “is this guy dead?”
3:08:16Donation Segment
3:22:57Sandy-O “gut check, stop!” iso
3:24:51Dogs Are People Too: “carbon pawprint” and “furry kids” memes in ad for Jiminy’s cricket protein dog food (CotD)