Call Clooney!

1288 Croaker (2020-10-22)

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0:00:00JCD: “Honk honk honk!” (1:52:33)
0:00:33Democrats walk out of Amy Coney Barrett hearing; 2016 Democrat sit-in for gun control
0:05:23NBC Nightly News rundown; Fauci-Biden “don’t worry about it” coronavirus compilation; California excludes NBC-affiliated Universal and ABC-affiliated Disneyland in lifting park restrictions; NBC “disturbing double-digit increases in hospitalizations” fear porn; NPR derails with two forthcoming studies: hospitalized patients “much less likely to die … than they were at the start of the pandemic”; ACC on prospects of Austin tipping GOP over “camping” fiasco
0:16:00NBC running ventilator horror stories and blaming COVID-19; new CDC guidelines in the face of “tidal wave of infections”; new “infection rate” meme; “third surge” and “second surge” from NBC on the same day; NBC claims “in nearly a third [of states], infections are surging by at least 50%”, coming weeks to be “darkest of the entire pandemic”; spook Richard Engel reports on upcoming UK “challenge trial” with live virus; NBC hyperventilates over Trump “trashing” Anthony Fauci, “hitting back” vs “if I listened totally to the scientists” whipsaw
0:32:58European “cases” and “infection rate” driving response, Wales outlaws all outdoor gatherings, Ireland moves to Level Five for six weeks; America’s Frontline Doctors blame PCR
0:43:14PCR inventor Kary Mullis revisited: “it’s just a process that’s used to make a whole lot of something out of something”, ACC draws parallel with “people farting in China”, JCD’s oddly-folded two dollar bills, 45-cycle amplification level dictated by FDA and WHO, ACC: “they’re dialing it up on us!”; Health Passport Ireland promo; producer note on Abbott Labs NAVICA app, green patches in Boston; Prof. Marylouise McLaws gushes over the “honor” of attending WHO meeting, chuckles over “Bill and Belinda Gates were already donating”
1:06:18New Zealand news model Tova O’Brien scolds Jami-Lee Ross for “whipping up fear and hysteria”, cuts him off with “I can’t do that, actually” at mention of influenza; Andrew Cuomo blames lockdown on Bill de Blasio; Dan Andrews just fine with drone surveillance because “no one will be doing anything wrong”; Dutch Royal Family caught maskless in Greece
1:19:26Italy rolling out 10% cash back on electronic purchases; PayPal Bitcoin support to circumvent traditional banking routes; IMF head Kristalina Georgieva on need for a new Bretton Woods
1:28:33Producer Segment: donation from House of Cards producer Dana Brunetti
2:27:08Note from Asperger’s producer on discomfort caused by JCD’s pen clicking
2:30:16Serial creep Jeffrey Toobin caught masturbating on Zoom call; O.J. Simpson “dayum!” iso
2:37:45Producer note on Schoology software vs FERPA, mothers “showing off their boobs”
2:42:16FBI announces Iranian and Russian election interference; hysterical Maria Bartiromo blasts media for avoiding Hunter Biden story, Steve Bannon predicts Biden caught flat-footed, JCD: Jeffrey Toobin the new Anthony Weiner; Trump threatening to release 60 Minutes interview
2:55:57Vocal fry “croaker” DNI John Ratcliffe to Bartiromo on Adam Schiff’s baseless accusations; Charlamagne tha God on Trump’s message to young black men; 50 Cent backing Trump to avoid becoming “20 Cent” under Biden; “fuck the left” from Antoine Tucker
3:06:312016 clip of debate moderator Kristin Welker on hot mic coaching Clinton campaign official
3:08:31Donation Segment
3:21:38Joe Buck & Troy Aikman caught on hot mic mocking A-10 flyover; insane woman yells at Kayleigh McEnany for “smiling and smirking”; Elizabeth Warren flubs “Clint… Paris Climate Accord”; Denver and Boulder driving limits; Cindy McCain “hiding in plain sight” revisited
3:30:11Unsatisfactory explanation of “800% MATCH!” campaign text messages