Call Clooney!

1278 Lockdown Face (2020-09-17)

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0:00:00JCD: “Oh, we turned our people into lightbulbs.” (1:11:20)
0:00:36JCD Zephyr-free due to fog, ACC’s friend’s new venture, JCD: “chick magnet!”
0:02:48Nearly 7,000 North Carolinians given false positive for COVID-19 due to “glitch”; CDC notes recovered patients may continue to test positive; 45 PCR “spin cycles” in Madison, JCD laments his failure to steal “the book” of testing procedures from Standard Oil lab, Abbott Labs to crank out 50M tests per month accompanied by smartphone app; Becker’s Hospital CFO Report finds Florida receiving $132,000 in federal funds per COVID-19 case; Harris Co. Texas official explains how million-case reporting backlog polluted August-September statistics and prompted officials to maintain “red alert” status, ACC: “the incentive is to defraud!”
0:26:06Daniel “mein Führer” Andrews pushing bill mandating jury-less trials and locking up conspiracy theorists, ACC: “this is what happens, man, when they take your guns away”
0:27:33“Dr. Bill” Gates attacks CDC credibility “because you have people at the White House ahhh who are not epidemiologists”, “weirdly interesting falsehoods” about vaccines on social media; ennsylvania lockdown orders ruled unconstitutional; local package on Utah mask protest with six-year-old bitching about flu deaths and old lady declaring “most child molesters love ’em!”
0:38:04Steve Bannon’s buddy “Miles” Guo Wengui setting up $100M Rule of Law Society fund to go after Chinese Communist Party, Take Down the CCP music video, ACC: “Bannon looks like he should be hosting Yacht Rock on Sirius XM”; Black Lives Matter cofounder Alicia Garza’s Black Futures Lab sponsored by CCP-backed Chinese Progressive Association
0:52:56Clackamas Co. Oregon “Karen” commissioner pushes back against reports of Antifa arsonists; ACC volunteers to listen to Mimi’s planning commission stories, “maybe it’s possible to talk her out”; Mark Esper warns about Chinese and Russian directed energy weapons; Gavin Newsom rants about “arguably the hottest recorded temperature in the history of mankind”
1:06:44Judd Apatow commits career suicide criticizing Chinese influence on Hollywood; Academy of Country Music Awards with lightbulbs in empty seats; Joe Rogan asks for a do-over with headphones, JCD story: host Bill Goode’s “free air” technique; Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes: ACC “a fuckin’ retard … and he has an irritating twitch”; gay British sommelier Aidy Smith reflects on his “superpower” to Tourette’s Podcast, JCD: “I’m a Tourette’s ally!”
1:24:47Producer Segment: ACC “time, talent, and treasure”; Biden: Arctic “on fire”
2:08:47Biden’s July “if we get reelected” promises; rumors of incontinence as side effect of Alzheimer’s medication; Harris promises “Harris administration”; “lockdown face” plastic surgery spike
2:12:43Fox News panelists Melissa Francis & Marie “Band Camp Girl” Harf nervously shut down Newt Gingrich at the mention of George Soros; Jim Cramer’s “crazy Nancy” Freudian slip
2:19:57Biden bounces from farming to CFL bulbs, civilian climate corps, suburban floods and fires, “nine years before the damage is irreversible”, hurricanes destroying Midwest farms; Sunny Hostin registers disapproval of un-woke Joe Rogan running debate, JCD for Curry-Dvorak Consulting Group: “Biden will eat his lunch, here’s your bill”; idiotic claim that wildfires are so fierce that “NASA satellites can see them one million miles away in space”; John Solomon cites Riding the Dragon documentary as evidence of Biden family’s collusion with China
2:41:13Donation Segment: Biden lies $400,000 “more money than I’ve ever made”; meetup promo
2:55:46JCD’s lame Biden isos; Amazon fires back in the news; Darren Beattie: color revolution regime change model now being used on Americans; Jimmy Kimmel and Bill de Blasio milieu analysis
3:05:37Kanye’s Grammy urination; Eddie Scarry: GOP staffers more gay than Democrat counterparts