Call Clooney!

1204 Hunt the Wumpus (2020-01-02)

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0:00:00JCD: (Falsetto)Oh, just use Gimp!” (1:55:25)
0:00:33Cheap Chinese New Year party horns, Sino-American Friendship Association “we wish everyone a very happy new year and a gulag in 2020” in Times Square, Ambassador Huang Ping to interviewer: “first of all I will issue a very good visa”, ACC: “you not go to jail with good visa!”, Paul McCartney’s Imagine New World Order anthem; CNN’s “completely gay” coverage with Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper discussing “the biggest cock in Hollywood” and drunk Don Lemon promising drunk Brooke Baldwin to “lean in harder”
0:11:20More rainstick “free of QRM from the likes of Greta” for Sir Chris and the other Australian producers; tumbleweeds on Highway 240; JCD’s new Christmas dashcam
0:17:21CBS News apologizes for mixing up John Lewis and Elijah Cummings; Pope Francis slaps hand of overenthusiastic woman grabbing him and walks away scowling
0:23:46BBC Brexit compilation; The Guardian “10 Things UK Citizens Can Still Do” article including “childminding in the Med”; Katie Hopkins’ pledge to tattoo Nigel Farage on her nipples
0:29:47Uproar over protestors storming Baghdad Green Zone as in 2016; Qatar’s neutral stance between US and Iran; retired Gen. Mark Hertling on reinforcements from Marine crisis response task force and “normal procedure” to deploy 750 troops; hysterical talking head: “US diplomats are now trapped in that embassy!”; Al Jazeera reports protestors packing up and leaving; identical flags and “Soros signs”, JCD looking for “cut and run” meme from Joe Biden
0:43:35Theory of SD card exfiltration of DNC data with evidence of Hillary’s fake polling places; Joe diGenova to One America News: “I wanna thank Susan Rice for being so stupid and so arrogant to write that e-mail” incriminating Obama; unintelligible diGenova “with his ball gag in” to Mornings on the Mall on NSA’s Mike Rogers’ cooperation with Durham investigation: “there is going to be a substantial criminal conspiracy indictment involving a lot of people”
0:59:57Producer Segment: “Poot Buttigieg” and Dutch slang; JCD’s NDA and $100 for studio access
1:23:48C-SPAN “pessimist line” caller gripes “we’re a bunch of racist bigots!
1:26:28Bank of England Governor Mark Carney now UN Special Envoy for Climate Change, to BBC on investing tax money “consistent with the law of the land”, “climate emergency” vs “climate crisis” debate, lack of tangible climate change effects “part of the challenge”, “we’re all in, we’re all in on it”; George Soros to Bill Moyers in 2008: “the motor of the world economy” changing from US consumption, “it will be painful, but at least we will survive and not cook”
1:42:48“Hi everybody!” Obama in 2013 urges Americans “don’t just play on your phone, program it!”; Joe Biden urges New Hampshire coal miners to learn computer science, unhinged rant about hiring black women to fix Detroit because there was “no one who knew how to turn on the sewer system” (CotD), JCD: “Hunt the Wumpus, they might be able to do that!”
1:51:44ACC OTG: ACC’s Linux setup “just works”, JCD’s Photoshop and Word edit trail
2:01:49California “losing a generation of wage earners” to cities like Nashville; GE selling data collected by San Diego smart streetlights; RET dead raccoon “only in San Francisco!” iso
2:07:29Donation Segment
2:22:29Georgian Lugar research lab accused by Russian media of producing tainted vaccines and marmorated stink bugs; “urgent health alert” for measles case in Austin
2:28:29M5M spinning armed parishoner responding to Texas church shooting as “security guard”, obnoxious Fox News “good guy with a gun” litany
2:36:03Producer note on “do you find South Park funny or offensive?” job interview SJW filter