Call Clooney!

1179 Vooden Sporks (2019-10-06)

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0:00:00JCD: “Hey, progressive rock in Canada eh … Rush, great band, I love them.” (2:04:16)
0:00:37JCD explains the role of Avogadro constant in chemistry; Netherlands to mandate cutting livestock population in half to keep nitrogen below limit of 0.05 mol ha-1, lowering of speed limit, farmers headed to Schiphol Airport on October 29, JCD: “spray ‘en with blue dye!”
0:04:39Austin City Limits festival with Childish Gambino, Guns N’ Roses, and The Cure
0:06:26An earnest Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pranked with “we got to start eating babies!” from activist from Lyndon LaRouche Political Action Committee; ACC’s mother’s “eating dog food” meme, Jonathan Swift’s satirical A Modest Proposal For preventing the Children of Poor People From being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and For making them Beneficial to the Publick from 1729; Vladimir Putin condemns abuse of “happy young girl” Greta Thunberg
0:16:48Amsterdam Mayor Femke Halsema lies to Bill de Blasio “we only use vooden forks, sporks as you said”, New York plastic bans “on a yuuge scale!”; ACC on Amsterdam culture in US
0:22:55Incomprehensible BBC report: Boris Johnson will and will not delay Brexit; “get ready for Brexit” PSA; Nigel Farage on “endless series of meetings” at Westminster with zero results; Met Police Commissioner tells LBC she had no power to intercept Extinction Rebellion pink yacht in its way into central London, breathy enthusiasm for freedom of assembly
0:30:58LBC’s Simon Marks channels MSNBC: “President Trump, as you know, in the grounds of the White House, er, broke the law!” by calling on Ukraine and China to futz with 2020 election, finger-wagging from Mitt Romney, “blaming the media, Senator Rubio looked as miserable as he sounded”, Will Hurd and other Republicans retiring because of “furious” Texans
0:39:56You two disgust me!” producer note; Nancy Pelosi to George Stephanopoulos: impeachment inquiry vote “not necessary”, Adam Schiff’s parody “using the President’s own words … he did not make it up”, “look, I wanna tell you something” lying tell; Rachel Maddow and the ladies of The View on impeachment “for the country’s honor” with secret vote, prosecution of Mike Pence leading to “President Nancy Pelosi”; Biden protests “focus on this man!
0:59:08Nancy Pelosi’s son Paul Jr. in Kiev at a “wonderful time of year” to work on youth soccer
1:03:09Producer Segment: ACC plugs “ham radio 2.0”; defective Weed mug
1:35:05Willie Brown promoting Hillary 2020 in San Francisco Chronicle; Taylor Swift edging out “local girl” Jennifer Aniston in ACC’s opinion; JCD produces clip of ACC saying “nothing burger”; “we got to start eating babies!” and Hillary “I’m back!” isos; Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update” mocks Biden & Bernie and then brings in fake Elizabeth Warren to address talking points, “takin’ big checks from Wall Street worked out great for the last lady runnin’ for president”; JCD’s NBC “lure Hillary in” theory, Trump a guest host a yar before nomination
1:54:04Beto mocks Second Amendment vs tyranny: “we’re gonna need some aircraft carriers”
1:58:26New wave of Ring doorbell ads, ACC: “have the slaves spy on themselves!”; The Guardian pushing 5G to reverse 41% rise in pedestrian deaths since 2008; Rush OTG Kinda Guy jingle; IRS facing $74M in bogus electric vehicle credits; electric taxi drivers in China gripe about wasting time at charging stations; Jay Leno’s Garage electric and steam cars
2:10:28Joe’s Gaffe of the Week: “male and female nurses” gender botch
2:12:06Donation Segment: Twitch streamer “Jericho” explains how he pissed off McDonalds
2:33:40Dogs Are People Too: California man Sexy Vegan accused of sexually assaulting his dog
2:34:23France 24 “Fact or Fake”: hormone-treated beef, GMO salmon, and chlorinated chicken “handled by member states” meme; I Love Babies! jingle lurking in JCD’s clip folder