Call Clooney!

1169 Hockeystick Hoax (2019-09-01)

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0:00:00JCD: “And suckin’ all the scooters up into the air and then throwin’ scooters all over the place!” ACC: “It’s Scooternado!” (1:39:40)
0:00:38Jiggling the handle after latest Windows update, John Fletcher Microsoft Sucks jingle
0:04:09TV station evacuates while reporting Midland-Odessa shooting; Democrat Twitter screeching about “thoughts and prayers”; Beto O’Rourke swoops in to gripe “yes, this is fucked up” for CNN; “weapons of war” and “instruments of terror that terrify and terrorize us” memes, mandatory “buyback” proposal, ACC questions full-auto “AK-47” nomenclature, “these are wounds of war!”; graph of 1990 to 2017 violent crime drop vs “if it bleeds it leads”
0:17:33“Behavioral health” vs mental health; Austin town hall “shit show”, community advocate: “the people that are camping in your neighborhoods are your neighbors too”, new “camping” euphemism, JCD: “they’re all like this”; local report on new $8.5M homeless shelter and unoccupied Salvation Army shelter; Philadelphia struggling with hepatitis A outbreak
0:34:26Hong Kong police using blue dye to identify protestors; JCD on women at Mevio buying high-end garments for a single evening; disruptions to train stations and airports, “nothing to see here” tanks rolling in; Russian protests over Moscow City Council vote
0:42:11Terrified student describes Boston Straight Pride Parade as “pride masquerading as hate”, dismissive Massachusetts Gay and Lesbian Political Caucus co-chair Arline Isaacson: “straight pride takes place 365 days a year”, Emerson College student: “we’re against it”; “hate speech stickers” at University of Vermont reading “Better Dead Than Red” and “Keep America American”; Straight Pride Parade participants “most of them Trump supporters”, more than a dozen protestors arrested; current millennial position: older Americans “have not evolved”
0:53:32Will & Grace star Eric McCormack proposes Hollywood blacklist Trump supporters; Dior pulls culturally appropriative Sauvage ad; Calvin Klein using plus-size models
0:58:13Disney World Homelessness Experience exit strategy: animatronics or VR?
1:01:30Producer Segment: HPPD hallucinogen persisting perception disorder
1:27:45Climategate: Dr. Tim Ball to Danielle Smith Show podcast on Dr. Michael Mann’s lies about hockey stick slander suit, inconvenient Medieval Warm Period, ±33% hockey stick graph
1:37:14Hurricane Dorian “may head north and east” after dropping 48 inches of rain in the Bahamas, Miami rounding up electric scooters; Dutch electrical grid unable to keep up with demand
1:43:58David Brooks: Trump’s lies raising questions about mental fitness, Biden’s bogus story about decorating soldier “in no way” similar, “he may embellish a story to improve its dramatic effect”; bogus “young Navy captain, Navy, Navy!” story “God’s truth, my word as a Biden!”; illegal immigrant children “become Americans before a lot of Americans become Americans” head-scratcher (CotD); Brooks to C-SPAN: “the number one job is to get Trump out of office”
1:56:35Barbie Rivera to The Addiction Podcast on Florida International University offering $5,000 for enrolling students in drug studies; Stanford legal expert to NPR on opioid crisis: “we need these companies to stay in business”; Fox News: “this ain’t your mother’s marijuana”
2:11:19Donation Segment: Cheers-themed meetup jingle
2:28:02NewsHour on Brexit protests, pro-Brexit areas of UK “like having a parallel conversation, like in a different country”; ACC: “is there a piece of paper that has to be signed?”
2:33:31Prince Andrew’s lawyers claiming Epstein photo is fake; Epstein associate Nicole Junkermann’s FIFA connections; Zorro Ranch and child pornography at Sunspot Solar Observatory
2:38:11Democracy Now and MSNBC outraged at Bill Barr’s $30k holiday party at Trump hotel