Call Clooney!

1165 Duck Wubba Nub (2019-08-18)

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0:00:00JCD: “Blep blep blep blep blep, like with the dog drinkin’ water.” (1:16:55)
0:00:35Trump’s brilliant scheme to purchase Greenland from Denmark; Trump ignoring China trade war’s recession potential; Max Keiser and Stacy Herbert on Denmark’s third largest bank Jyske Bank paying negative mortgages, bizarre “it’s a three-thousand-year bubble!”
0:14:50GE irked by fraud allegation from Madoff whistleblower Harry Markopolos, JCD story: GE “arrogant jerks” bragging about inventing the TV remote and alarm clock; Markopolos on creative bookkeeping and current liabilities of $60bn; British man spends six days in the hospital after NHS misplaces dentures in his throat
0:26:18Epstein’s painting of Bill Clinton in blue dress turns out to be real; sketchy photo of Ghislaine Maxwell at In-N-Out Burger reading The Book of Honor: The Secret Lives and Deaths of CIA Operatives by Greenbrier bunker journalist Ted Gup, coded Amazon Kindle edition review by G. Maxwell: “a good friend of mine died recently under very tragic circumstances”
0:40:10SoulCycle “spin gym” charity community rides in response to boycott; outrage over NFL social justice collaboration with Jay-Z’s Roc Nation marginalizing Colin Kaepernick
0:45:18Stacey Abrams pushing and signaling willingness to run for VP, mysteries of Georgia “voter suppression” via throwing out sketchy registrations
0:52:06Supporter with “serious weight problem” kicked out of New Hampshire Trump rally, “high taxes, high crime, open borders, late-term abortion, and socialism” litany, “thank you very much President Obama” for 138 federal judge vacancies; Obama briefing Biden campaign aids
1:01:54JCD: “the inmates have taken over the asylum” at New York Times town hall, transcript from Slate owned by Washington Post; Bernie Sanders “who is a racist, is a xenophobe, and who is a religious bigot” talking points; NYT’s full-time anti-Bernie writer
1:12:34Malcolm Gladwell’s shameless Revisionist History podcast AT&T 5G ad
1:16:59Producer Segment: Baron Dirty Dick Bang’s child’s duck “Wubba Nub”
1:41:35Dogs Are People Too: outrage over toxic blue-green algae comments; pet food delivery service Pet Plate; JCD on Mimi’s unpublished canine cuisine book and raising dogs on table scraps
1:48:44Bill Maher on Obama’s “evolution” toward gay marriage due to Biden shooting off his mouth; JCD contemplates Biden’s moribund hair plugs; “crazy crystal lady” Marianne Williamson on Declaration of Independence written by slave owners; Bernie Sanders 1941 “war in the East with China” gaffe to Joe Rogan (BCotD); “Nellie Whore, Nellie, uh, Ohr” flub (BCotD)
2:09:31And Now Back to Real News: Zimbabwe back in hyperinflation cycle with day-long gas lines; African swine fever poised to cut Chinese pork production in half; Democracy Now on casualties at India-Kashmir border, 20% Chinese population in Kashmir; NOAA: July “hottest month since record keeping began”, Fiji PM irked at not getting bigger payout after Pacific Islands Forum; George Monbiot introduces new meme “climate breakdown”
2:22:42Donation Segment: 3D printed “knight stand”
2:37:35Arrest in New York “bomb scare” over rice cookers; Trump unconcerned over North Korea’s launch of “very standard” short-range missiles during US sales job exercise with South Korea
2:42:03Rep. Rashida Tlaib cancels trip to Israel to visit her grandmother due to Israeli restrictions on boycott advocacy “meant to humiliate her”; UK’s similar ban on Michael Savage
2:47:48Portland police Giant Voice System: “the sidewalks are closed!”, Scott Adams relishes prospect of Antifa violence: “if that’s not entertaining, you’re dead inside”
2:50:32New Mercedes-Benz pandering “the many colors of Pride” ad series