Call Clooney!

1089 Puppet Mouth (2018-11-25)

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0:00:00JCD: (falsetto)Ohh, you’ve got to get one!” (1:51:15)
0:00:34CNN on “highly anticipated” NOAA climate report released “about a minute and forty seconds ago”, “very specific according to regions”, we’re all gonna die from billions in losses and zika; CBS “we’re getting out!” Trump iso, under-the-radar Black Friday release conspiracy theory
0:09:47ACC on French slaves rebelling against measures that are supposed to save them; CNN on Paris protests that “started off as a fuel protest a week ago”, “generalized anger about the state of the economy” lie, diesel at $7 per gallon, “shame shame” tweet from Emmanuel Macron; CBS on Macron spinning carbon taxes as effort to “wean the country off fossil fuels”; Euronews man on the street: “are we sheep??”, call for general strike; yellow emergency vests mandatory in France, spreading across Europe; JCD: general strikes illegal in US
0:25:32Global Compact for Migration overriding sovereign laws in Europe, part of Agenda 2030, “informal economy” hookers and blow provisions, goal to “enhance reception”; furor over Hillary Clinton’s warning to The Guardian that unchecked migration fuels right-wing populism
0:32:37London police fighting moped phone thieves by ramming them; Bird lithium battery bombs
0:37:12PBS on estimated $23bn Black Friday, shooting in Birmingham Alabama; JCD on The Atlantic biscuit report as Amazon native ad; Finnish MEP Sirpa Pietikäinen to Euronews: “we are already consuming 1.5 planets every year”; Book of Knowledge on origin of term, Amazon Cyber Monday, George W. Bush’s post-9/11 “keep shopping” message
0:52:48ACC-TtK T-Mobile consolidation, confusing proliferation of iPhone models like 1990s Macs
0:58:00CBS This Morning: conspiracy theorists “living in their mother’s basement with a ham radio”
0:59:21Producer Segment: lackluster 332 promotion; DOS program Dvorak on Typing “A… B… C…”
1:06:33Madam Secretary pot shot at Russia; ACC recommends The Clinton Affair chronicling two-year Monica Lewinsky fling, Paula Jones sexual harassment, striking parallel with Trump; JCD on The Equalizer 2’s formulaic Hong Kong revenge plot with final explosion
1:13:55MPAA releases recommendations for lawmakers including anti-net neutrality “download bandwidth or frequency limitations” and ban linking to copyrighted materials, appeal to Constitution’s “Copyright Clause” Article I Section 8, absurd life plus 70 year copyright term
1:33:12Talk Nerdy host Cara Santa Maria unenthusiastically reads ad for Crickstart “super-yummy snacks made with cricket powder”, “this is the future of food, you guys!”
1:42:14“King” Mark Zuckerberg reveals to CNN plan for “tribunals” to review takedown challenges
1:47:12Obama-Trump “Merry Christmas” compilation; Whole Foods’ half-mile turkey line; Instant Pot programmable pressure cooker beloved by old ladies, ACC: “is it an Internet of Thing?”
1:54:25The Guardian bottom-of-page “the free press is under attack” anti-Trump donation pitch
1:57:01Donation Segment: ACC’s millennial-cooked Thanksgiving turkey
2:07:26Russian moon mission to verify Apollo missions; BBC on identifying unruly crowds with AI
2:10:53Erin “horrible puppet mouth” Burnett interprets Trump’s “it’s not gonna happen like this any more” as a threat; Michael Hayden’s stroke; CNN on US-Mexico deal to require asylees to wait in Mexico, Trump “fixated” on hyper-liberal Ninth Circuit Court decision
2:20:28New Interpol President Kim Jong Yang; UN environment chief quits over excessive travel
2:22:06Trump dismisses nonexistent CIA “findings” on Khashoggi leaked to WaPo, Sen. Jack Reed slips in subtle “as reported to the press” (CotD); Defendin’ Donald jingle
2:31:06ACC’s simulated universe theory reinforced by link between transcripts and Reddit trolls
2:39:44CBC interprets Toy Story 4 sentient spork character as SJW transgender message