Call Clooney!

1031 Dog Dazer (2018-05-06)

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0:00:00JCD: “What were you doing before that happened?” (2:04:05)
0:00:34JCD’s Salesforce Building light show; nine journos killed in Kabul double tap suicide bombing
0:02:56Stormy Daniels calls for “a resignation” on Saturday Night Live, JCD on Clinton “nobody’s dyin’” meme; Rudy Giuliani to Sean Hannity on “perfectly legal” Daniels payment; CNN’s David Chalian on “incorrect, false, bad information” from Sarah Sanders; April Ryan on Sanders squabble: “I had to decompress”, “that was very, um, street”, JCD: “pull her credentials!”; ACC on Obama campaign’s $375k fine for fraudulent contributions
0:17:56Morning Joe Mike Barnicle on “literal tsunami, a fire hydrant of false information” from White House, “this is how democracies die”, Nobel Peace Prize scenario
0:21:51Rudy Giuliani “in support of regime change” in Iran, disingenuous “former ally”; Steve Pieczenik on Trump bluff and US companies in place, Netanyahu’s jail prospects; John Kerry violating Logan Act; Paul Manafort trying to get charges thrown out as irrelevant
0:29:43Barbara Boxer podcast overmodulation skit; “very good question to start this off” for psychologist John Gartner, “anachronistic” Goldwater Rule, “duty to warn” surveillance state, DSM-5 and Goldwater’s “possibly wrong” latent homosexuality, petition plug, “I’m a lifelong Democrat”, phony narcissism checklist, hysterical Boxer “who does that??
0:49:45Giuliani on defending Ivanka from Mueller, Jared “disposable”; JCD on midterm narrative
0:53:10Joy Behar on Boy Scouts rebranding: “I’m not sure that girls benefit from having boys in their midst”; Eagle Scout producers on Girl Scouts “cookie cult”, replacing LDS/Christian constituency with girls, “maybe they want to teach them how to code”, inclusivity for sponsors
1:11:36Producer Segment: Theodorable’s Dutch-style first birthday
1:17:47Sexual Harassment Update: more Charlie Rose allegations, effusive CBS self-congratulation
1:21:49Third-graders learning “lost art” of cursive writing, JCD on founding document obfuscation
1:27:57The Dirty Thirties jingle with carnival barker ACC, “Chicago typewriter” and “cinder dick”
1:33:36CBS Ransom Russian invasion of Crimea meme, JCD “MacGuffin”, Norman Lear Center revisited; Reuters urges Twitter password change due to “glitch”, “bug” logging 330M cleartext passwords; Facebook investigating Tinder cyberstalker employee, photo identity theft by scammers, recent removal of 500k fraudulent accounts, bogus 2bn members claim
1:49:35Facebook considering ad-free subscriptions, ACC: “they’ll still sell your information!”, Skype ad scam; Ellen Pao urges Silicon Valley incel crackdown; Google employee group SJW chaos
1:54:00Producer notes on fur baby phenomenon, ACC’s dog piss elevator, “dog Xanax”, JCD: “what, you gave birth to a dog??”; top reasons people do and don’t want children, ACC: “they are self-selecting themselves out of the gene pool”, 25 kHz Dog Dazer II
2:15:32Donation Segment: Stormy “Miss Icky” Daniels
2:23:25NBC on link between fast food and female infertility; Sainsbury’s-Asda merger in UK
2:26:15Protests at NRA National Convention; pro-Second Amendment students “firing back at fellow students fighting for gun control” (CotD), banned shirt “celebrating diversity”
2:33:30Cheerleader hysteria over “inclusive” policy; cheerleading scandal with Washington Redskins “which it’s NPR’s policy not to mention” lie, journalistic “how come?”; freakout over Native American teens visiting Colorado State University campus
2:46:50Ray Kurzweil on “brain extender” smartphones; JCD predicts Dog Dazer legislation
2:52:39Vegas massacre footage; Mandy Patinkin gushes about CIA, Ugandan government “teaching us how to behave as human beings”, ACC: “they eata da poo-poo!”, trading barbs with Colbert